I sigh, sick of the constant frustration I feel toward my body at all times. “I’m fine. Just a little rattled.” Mulling over how I want to ask them, I shift my weight from side to side as nerves take over before finally taking a deep breath and looking each of them over. “I have a favor to ask, and if you’re not comfortable, I totally get it.”
“Anything,” Scarlett says without hesitation.
“Yeah,” both Dakota and Alexa agree.
“Whatever you need,” Kenna adds, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.
My knee-jerk reaction is to wince at their willingness. If I’m being honest, I’m not used to people unknowingly agreeing to do something for me without there being something beneficial in it for them.
“You might not be so agreeable when you realize what I’m asking of you.”
“They’ll be on board,” Walker encourages.
My stomach tightens before I decide to just go for it. “I wanted to know if you’d be willing to buzz my hair for me. It’s been falling out slowly—I thought maybe the cool-capping was helping delay the inevitable, and I suppose it was for a while—but this morning my pillowcase was nearly covered in hair and I’ve come to the decision that I just want it to be over and done with. I know this may be a lot to ask of you as my new friends, hell, I wouldn’t blame you if you think this is awkward as fu—”
I’m cut off from my rambling when the group of women closes in on me in a group hug.
I stiffen in shock, momentarily stunned by their kindness, before I absorb their embrace and allow myself to let go of the lid I was doing my best to keep on my emotions.
“We may be newfound friends, but we love the hell out of you, Tae,” Scarlett tells me, wrapping me in another warm hug when the rest of the group takes a step back.
“Thank you,” I manage to get out through the emotion clogging my throat.
We all grab something to eat and make small talk about our initial thoughts on our book of the month. Once we’ve all finished, we file into my bathroom that Jax and I now sharewhile Walker grabs a hair trimmer from somewhere on his side of the vanity.
My hands shake uncontrollably as I lower myself onto the bench in front of the wood-framed mirror.
This moment feels monumental but not at all as scary as it could be, and that’s entirely due to these women surrounding me. The way they’ve all shown up for not only me, but Jackson too, is something I’ll be eternally grateful for.
Clearing the emotion swelling my throat, I ask, “I’m not sure if this is weird of me to ask, but could we maybe take a picture of the group of us before my hair is cut?”
“For sure! Here,” Walker says as she props her phone up on the counter and the girls start to huddle in.
With the timer set, Walker rushes to join the girls, who now have me wrapped in their arms. I smile and look up at the phone with bleary eyes as the numbers count down until it captures a snapshot of a group of women holding me up when I feel anything but steady.
After the picture is done, they hold me in a group hug before pulling away one by one until only Walker remains glued to my side. “Are you ready?” she asks, and I nod my head.
The buzzing of the clippers fills the space and echoes off the tiled walls. Walker’s eyes meet mine in the reflection of the mirror, and when I give her another nod of encouragement, she closes her eyes briefly and takes a deep breath before opening them again. A single tear escapes and trails down her cheek as she lines the clippers up at the front of my part and then slowly drags them down my part to the back of my head.
I close my eyes as silent tears pour out of me.
“I’ll go next,” Kenna says and then I feel her step up beside me. She places a hand on my shoulder as she works the buzzer over my scalp.
My shoulders shake from the quiet sobs as Dakota switches places with Kenna and whispers, “We’ve got you.”
When I open my eyes again, I look down to find locks of my raven hair strewn on the floor. The sight merges with the one from this morning and I can’t find it in me to meet my reflection in the mirror. Not yet.
Bringing my foot up on the bench, I wrap my arms around my knee and hug it to my chest.
Scarlett steps up and grabs the clippers from Dakota. She gives my shoulder a squeeze and tells me, “You’re beautiful inside and out, Taevin. Don’t ever forget that.”
After she’s done, she hands the clippers off to Alexa, who reaches her hand out and clasps it in mine. “I’m so happy fate brought you and Jax back together. And I’m thankful you came into my life. You’ve got this, Tae.”
Once she turns the clippers off, I bring my shaky hand to my head and am met with a faintly fuzzy scalp. Running my fingers over the buzzed strands feels foreign, and when I lift my eyes to the mirror, I don’t recognize the reflection staring back at me.
The girl in the mirror looks terrified of the battle ahead of her. But when I see the group of women surrounding her, I know she won’t be fighting alone.
Their presence blankets my fear in peace and security.
