“You’re really selling it, angel.”
“But it’s worth it. I appreciate that my grandparents left me their house, but I like knowing I bought this one on my own.”
Zach turned to face her. It wasn’t anything nice, but it was a decent place to live. “Yeah, how exactly did you do that?”
She slid her thumbs back and forth over the mug in her hands. “Very carefully. I always expected I’d have student loans to pay back, but I met a great counselor when I was in the foster system who helped me apply for every scholarship possible. I was able to complete all of my school with minimal debt. I’ve been working since I hit the legal age, and I’ve been very careful with my spending.”
That explained the lack of decorations in her house. She didn’t have any family to display in pictures, and she didn’t waste money on frivolous things. Still, she seemed happy. It was kind of amazing that she could be content with what she could afford.
Zach had always been forced to live a minimalist lifestyle. Every cent that crossed his path was already spent before he received it. Nothing extra. Ever.
She lowered the cup of coffee and smacked her lips. “Plus, God has always provided for me.”
Zach held up a hand. “Wait. What do you mean?”
“I mean there have been times when I didn’t think I could pay my bills, but God always made a way. It’s not a coincidence that every time I’ve needed something, it just happened to fall into my hands at the perfect moment.”
“And you’re sure it was God?” Zach asked.
“Yep. Positive.”
“How?”
Lauren turned toward the TV, but they’d never turned the volume up on the documentary she’d been so excited to watch. “Well, when I was little, my dad was abusive, and I was always terrified of him. My mom was afraid of him too, and she wouldn’t stand up to him. I hid in my room whenever Dad was home.”
Zach’s stomach clenched. He couldn’t sit here and listen to Lauren talk about someone purposefully hurting her. He still carried too much guilt about her fear himself. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“It’s okay. I’m over it now.” She spoke with somuch truth, but there was a softness behind the words that said healing had come at a cost. “But when I was little, I didn’t have anyone to protect me from him. I went to church with my grandparents a few times when I was young, mostly to get out of the house. I used to pray that my dad wouldn’t hit us anymore. Then, Anthony got taken away from his parents and came to live with us.”
“And your dad stopped hitting?” Zach asked, desperate for her to tell him the happy ending he’d come to expect from her.
“Nope. In fact, it got worse. My parents didn’t exactly love that they’d just gotten an extra kid.”
Zach put his coffee down on the end table. “So, God didn’t answer your prayer. Why are you trying to convince me that God provided for you?”
“He did answer my prayer. He didn’t change my dad, but he sent me a protector. Anthony.”
Geez. Anthony again. Lauren thought Anthony was some guardian angel, and that was her hang-up. “Lauren, I don’t think that was God.”
“It most certainly was.” She put her mug down and started gesturing with her hands as her words came quicker. “I didn’t even know what drugs were or what alcohol did to my dad. I just knew that he was mean. You know, the night before Anthony came to us, I prayed to God. I’d always asked for my dad to stop hitting me, but for some reason, my prayer was different that night. I asked Him to make me strong enough to bear it.”
Lauren rested her hands in her lap and stared down at them. “Anthony was about eight when he came to live with us, but I saw him as so much older. He was tough, and I thought he could do anything.” She looked up, and her eyes glistened with moisture. “He did everything he could. He stood in the gap for me, he took the punches for me, and he made me stronger. My dad didn’t hit me anymore, and I got stronger because I wanted to be like Anthony.”
Everything she was saying was wrong. Lauren had always been the picture-perfect person in Zach’s mind. She was smart, strong, and selfless, and realizing that she’d once been so fragile was tough to comprehend.
She took a deep breath and stared at the silent TV. “I can do anything for twenty minutes. That’s what I always told myself.” She turned to Zach with a steady gaze. “Do you know why? Because the night my parents overdosed, Anthony told me the police would be there in twenty minutes. I was ten years old when I sat in a house with my two dead parents for twenty minutes.”
“Good grief, Lauren.” Zach rubbed a hand down his face. “I had no idea.”
She shrugged. “I don’t like to advertise it. I went into the foster system, and it wasn’t bad. Anthony insisted we stay together, but he had a hard time fitting in. A few families rejected us because he was difficult.”
“So, how do you know God was theone who did all these things? If he loved you, why wouldn’t he just give you a better life?”
“I have a great life. Believing that God is our Creator and Father doesn’t mean we get a free pass from pain. Nothing in the Bible says that we’re promised a peaceful path. In fact, we’re warned that it will be difficult. This world isn’t our home, and it’s full of sin.Weare full of sin. We have free will, and sometimes that means we make mistakes.”
“But you didn’t make any,” Zach said.
She let out a single chuckle. “You’re so wrong. I make mistakes all the time. The reason I don’t cripple under the shame and guilt is because the Lord forgives me when I come to Him and repent.”
