“I don’t hate you.” Lauren interrupted.
“Yes, you do. Now let me get this out. I’ve hurt you. A lot. I don’t know how to make things right between us because I’ve messed up too much.”
Did he even remember their conversation from the night before? Surely he remembered coming over in the middle of the night. After all, he’d woken up on her couch.
But to think that he’d hurt her too much was an exaggeration. She wasn’t a fragile flower. She’d been forced to withstand some tough things in her life, and Zach wasn’t the worst of it.
He threw his hands out to his sides. “Tell me what Ihave to do. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I just need you to tell me we’ll be okay because somewhere along the way I started caring about you.” He slid a hand through his hair before flinging it down at his side. “I’ve never cared about anyone but myself before, and it’s terrifying.”
Lauren didn’t dare move. Time stopped as she stared at the man fraying at the seams in front of her.
He cared. That was the biggest confirmation he’d ever given her, and she’d take it and run with it. Zach was finally telling her what he needed, and she had to tread carefully.
He rubbed a hand over his jaw, scraping at the coarse beginnings of a beard. The look brought her back to when she’d visited him in prison. He’d looked so different then—vacant and dejected.
He set his jaw and swallowed. “I’ll beg, okay? Just tell me we can go back to the way things were before.”
She’d had the perfect plan this morning, but she hadn’t planned on a remorseful Zach to show up. She hadn’t planned on curve balls and surprise apologies. She hadn’t planned on the heartbreak of his words and the plea behind them.
“We’re fine?—”
“We’re not fine. I’m not fine,” Zach broke in, pointing at his heaving chest.
“Zach, you’re making too big of a deal out of this. Don’t beat yourself up.”
He took a step back and held his arms open. “Hit me.”
“I’m not going to hit you!”
He lifted his chin, dead set on the option he’d chosen. “Yes. Just hit me, and you’ll feel better.”
Her shoulders sank. He truly thought wrongs should be repaid with violence, and the realization was enough to break her heart. “Hitting you isn’t the answer.”
“Lauren, trust me on this. I won’t fight back. Hit me as hard as you can, as much as you want. Let me have it. I deserve everything you can throw at me and more.”
The heat just beneath her skin rose, scorching her body and tightening her throat. She couldn’t do this. She wouldn’t let him continue to believe that she wanted to cause him pain—that she would feel better if she did.
With all the courage she could gather, she closed the distance between them and lifted onto her toes to press her mouth to his.
It was a single moment—a moment that stood still in time as her warm lips melded against his cold ones. Her heart pounded as she broke the kiss as quickly as it had begun.
She couldn’t breathe, and the roaring in her ears hit a deafening level as Zach stared down at her with wide eyes. She’d never seen him stunned before, and she couldn’t predict how he’d react. All she could do was wait in the silence as his chest heaved with every breath.
She’d promised him she wouldn’t touch him, andnow she’d broken her promise and probably ruined everything between them.
Slowly, his gaze dipped to her lips and back up again. His voice was low and rough as he whispered, “Hit me again.”
Her hands slid up his chest and neck to cradle his face. As she pressed her lips to his, Zach’s arms wrapped around her lower back, pulling her up to him and pressing her to his chest. His mouth slid against hers, furious and hot as he surrounded her, drawing her to him with a fire that had been burning for weeks.
The large hand that splayed across her back braced her as she moved with him. For all the fighting they did, the kiss was in perfect sync. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle, and she melted into his embrace.
When the force of the kiss began to ease, Zach set a pace that was both rhythmic and sweet. Each movement drew the anger out of them until the only thing left was relief.
The jagged parts of her that had been gaping wounds began to heal. The sting of everything she’d been fighting against dissipated with every move and touch.
And Zach? He held her tightly as if she might slip from his hands and shatter into a million pieces on the floor. The rush was overwhelming as she struggled to breathe.
Zach broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against hers. A few heavy seconds passed before he asked, “What was that?”
