Lauren
The cold darkness wrapped around her, tingling over her skin as she walked toward her car in the library parking lot. A nudge in the back of her mind said the chill in the air wasn’t real, but the hairs on her arms rose anyway.
A thick haze distorted the view, and her stomach turned. It was happening again, and there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it.
A strong hand pressed over her mouth and nose as a sickening weight coiled around her, pinning her arms to her sides. It was always the same, and she was helpless—always thrashing but never breaking away.
Needles pricked her lungs from the inside, and her legs wouldn’t budge. They hung useless as the force dragged her against her will. She couldn’t fight this—couldn’t even try.
Then the voice—strong and commanding. “Stop!”
Lauren’s eyes opened immediately. Blinking backthe fog of sleep, the dresser and closet door came into focus. She was in her bedroom, safe at home. She turned onto her back. The ceiling fan moved in its slow, dizzying circles as she tried to anchor herself in reality.
The dream was slightly different each time it came. This time, a wave of peace had washed over her when Zach shouted at his brother. The dream hadn’t been the true sequence of events, but her mind liked to piece together subtle changes in the replay she never wanted. She still hadn’t made sense of it after all these years.
In the dream, a dark force had her in its grip, then the command came to release her. Immediately, her rapid heartbeat had begun to slow. It was a welcome reaction considering some of the nightmares left her in a cold, sticky sweat, screaming and gripping the sheets tangled around her.
“Just a dream,” she whispered into the quiet room. It was a tool she’d learned in her psychology studies. Speak the truth. Call it what it was, and the fear of the unknown no longer held its power.
A quick glance at the clock on the bedside table said she had fifteen minutes before she had to get ready for work. Pushing off the blanket, Lauren sat up and stretched her arms above her head. Another day, another wake-up call.
Zach had spoken the word, but something bigger than him had given the command. He would never understand if she told him she believed the Lord hadworked through him that night. In fact, he’d laugh in her face.
Dragging her feet to the bathroom, she fell into her daily routine. Praise and worship music filled the air as she got ready for work, then she grabbed her Bible and study guide and headed to the kitchen. She brewed a single-serve cup of coffee and pulled eggs and bacon out of the refrigerator. Doubling her usual ingredients, she let the sizzle of grease in the pan wake her up.
When the food was cooked, she sat at the worn table and ate while scrolling through news articles. The bottom of her mug snagged on a bump in the wood and almost spilled her coffee. She’d picked the table up at Blackwater Restoration over a year ago, but she hadn’t had the time to restore it yet.
Maybe things were about to change. She had a handyman now. A free one, at that.
When she’d finished eating, she opened to the day’s lesson and found the accompanying scripture. The words on the pages blurred until they were merely gray smudges on the page. It happened every time she tried to read the Bible these days. Other books didn’t bring on the immediate anxiety—just this one.
Balling her hands into fists, she let out a bone-deep sigh and hung her head. “God, why is this happening? Why do I have this block keeping me from You?”
Never in her life had she doubted the presence and the power of God. She’d been praising His name sinceshe was a teenager, and it had carried her through the darkest times in her life. Her faith wasn’t fragile.
Why did shefeelso lost when she wasn’t? God had her securely in the palm of His hand, and His word promised that nothing could separate the two of them.
Moisture seeped from her closed eyelids, and she took a fortifying breath. “Help me to see. I don’t know what I’m doing. Why am I struggling when the truth is right in front of me?”
Her hands gripped the Bible. It all seemed so complicated.
“God, please guide me. Show me how to see You.” She wasn’t above begging, especially when she needed to figure out a Sunday School lesson for the kids and prepare for her own Bible study class. She took pride in knowing others could count on her, but here she sat, falling apart before she’d even read the first words of the study guide.
A quick succession of three knocks sounded at the door, and she pushed away from the table, wiping her eyes as she left the lesson behind. She wouldn’t be making any progress this morning.
Brushing her hair over her shoulders, she prayed as she neared the front door. “Lord, give me patience for him today.”
As expected, Zach stood on her front porch wearing the clothes she’d purchased for him yesterday—a white T-shirt and jeans, as he’d requested. Dark stubble covered his chin and jaw. She would run by the store on her way home and get him a razor. It was justone more item added to the huge list of things he needed. She’d never picked up a stray man before, but it was turning out to be more work than bringing home a traumatized puppy.
Being released from an extended stay in prison had to be a lot like starting over. Thankfully, her church had a clothes closet and plenty of basic items set aside for helping the people in the community, and she’d been slowly furnishing the rental house with secondhand pieces for years.
“Morning, angel.” The words were hoarse as if they were the first he’d said since waking, and there wasn’t a bit of sweetness in them.
“Good morning.” She stepped to the side and waved her arm. “Come in.”
Zach stepped over the threshold and took in her meager home. Everything from the cheap crown molding to the baseboards had been out of style for over fifty years, but the house her grandparents had lived in for the majority of their lives served its purpose well, and that was enough for her.
They’d been too old to raise her and Anthony when their parents decided drugs were more important than kids, but her grandparents had done everything they could, including leaving their house to her when they passed. Anthony had already gone off the rails, and his name was removed from the family like all of the others who’d fallen into a lawless life.
