I raise a brow and cross my arms. Careful not to wrap them around my waist so I don't look as insecure as I feel, I cock my hip to hide behind my sass.
"Violet," Jamie starts, shifting toward me. I'm not surprised when his hard cock slips through the crack of his towel. "Fuck. Be right back."
As Jamie rushes down the hallway to his room, Ellis watches him go. "Did you see how red his face was?" Ellis asks me with a shit-eating grin on his face.
My heart twinges, but I force my arms to relax. Ellis is like a dog with a bone. If he so much as sees any kind of feeling on my face, he will sniff out its origin and demand its context.
"I did," I confirm, avoiding his probing gaze. Instead of taking Nate's offer of sitting on thecouch beside him, I take the solo recliner by the window.
Their gazes stay on me as the minutes go by, but neither man says anything. Shocking, especially for Ellis. Hopefully it looks like I feel indifferent as I watch the snow fall through the orange light of the street lamps.
Jamie's steps sound hurried, drawing my attention to the room at last. "Thank fuck you're still here," he breathes, rushing to me.
Tingles race from the kiss he places on my forehead to the tip of my nose. Blinking, I find myself studying his facial expression as he pulls back and seats himself on the armrest beside me.
Walking in, I immediately felt like an intruder. Like a fourth wheel. Jamie's actions just now rewire my brain, offering comfort and the reassurance I need that I still have a place here. With him.
"Alright," Jamie announces, voice hard as he acknowledges the other two. "I'm going to talk first, then you may have the floor."
Ellis and Nate nod, but I'm frowning. "What about me?"
"You just sit there and look pretty," Ellis replies with a wink.
"Damn it," Jamie mutters and takes over before I can spit something rude. "Ellis. Less condescending. Especially when I know you're itching to hear what she has to say to you."
Ellis blinks. "I was just teasing."
Nate sighs and grabs the back of Ellis' neck. "Not thetime for jokes, remember? We have a lot of work to do before you can try to make her laugh."
"Sorry, Violet. Please interrupt us at any time. I really was just trying to lighten the mood. I'm nervous as hell and—fuck, now I'm rambling and ruining everything. Somebody else go."
A short while ago Ellis made fun of Jamie's blush; now he's the one with fiery red cheeks and shifty eyes. My gaze is slow to move to Jamie even as he starts talking about how he didn't invite the other two over. There's a new complexity in Ellis that wasn't there before. He always felt things the most out of the three of us, and his coping mechanism always resorted to rambling or blurting things without thinking.
That hasn't changed, it seems, but Ellis has an edge I'm not used to, and it scares me. I never know when he'll snap at me or accuse me of something. Maybe it's not fair to him considering this is only the third time I'm seeing him, but he's made an impression. Not a good one. His lack of filter makes him seem cruel when he's mad, and I don't like it.
"Alright, you go." Jamie gestures to Nate and Ellis.
Total shock ripples through me when they both stand up and kneel at my feet. Nate starts with his soulful eyes locked on mine. He doesn't dare touch me thankfully. "We're sorry for how we've been treating you, Violet."
I feel my eyebrows pull together, but Ellis picks up where his partner left off. "We've been holding on to a lot of hurt that was easier to morph into anger. We never should have taken it out on you. Honestly," hemurmurs, and reaches out to touch my knee. The contact makes my breath hitch. "We should have hugged you and told you we were never letting you go now that we found you. Please forgive us."
I'm stunned absolutely speechless.Why the fuck are they talking about hugging me and never letting me go? I broke their hearts, and I'm definitely not the same person I used to be.
"You're confused," Nate observes with a sad nod. "That's our fault. We've made you question our words and feelings. You must have whiplash. But the honest fucking truth is that we miss you so damn much."
There are many paths in front of me, and I've already proved I'm terrible at making decisions. So of course, I stick to the road I know best.
"I forgive you. Really, I understand why you must have hated me. I do too." I shrug, as if I didn't just implode our conversation with my self-hatred.
Thirty
ELLIS
What the fuck did she just say? Violet hates herself?That's far more fucking concerning than trying to convince her that Nate and I don't hate her.
My gut is protesting the gentle look she's giving me. In no way should she look so calm while spouting the shit she just did. The longer the silence drags on, the more her face shifts with worry.
I can practically feel the anger rolling off of Nate beside me. Hell, my teeth might turn to dust any second here from how hard I have them clenched.
