It hasn't helped keep the anxiety at bay. Fact.
It's almost February, and I'm starting to stress about Valentine’s Day plans. Fact.
I actually want to celebrate with Jamie. Fact.
I'm worried he will want to spend it with someone(s) else. Kinda fact.
Overall,I'm feeling pretty anxious. Fact.
I'm heading over to Jamie's to hopefully calm some of my worries. Fact.
Twenty-Nine
VIOLET
“Oh."
Jamie literally chokes and tries to step away from Ellis who won't release him. As if I just walked into a lion’s den, I slowly hang my purse on the hook by the door. Jamie's state of undress is the main reason I close the door, but I'm not sure I'll be staying.
"Should I go?" I ask, taking in the three of them. Sheesh, the sexual tension in here is wild, and I have to admit that seeing Ellis with his hands on Jamie makes me a little squirmy but also sends my anxiety skyrocketing.
Jealousy, uncertainty, and horniness make my hands tremble ever so slightly. One thing I miss the most about the bubbly girl I used to be is how confident I was.
If there weren't feelings involved, I'd probably whip my shirt off and seduce them into action. Except, that's not what I'm doing because I'm pretty sure I'm in lovewith Jamie, and all the love I had for Nate and Ellis never received its closure or found an end.
Thus, I'm freaking out on the inside. I don’t know where I stand with any of them, especially when I saw the way Jamie melted into Ellis before he noticed me.
Maybe I should go...
"NO!" Jamie shouts, panic lighting up his eyes as he tries to get to me. Although I know for a fact he could break free from Ellis' hold, he just doesn't want to.
"Alright," I drawl, attempting to pull up my big bitch panties and deal with this. While I remove my jacket, I question what I just walked in on. "What exactly am I looking at here?"
"Ellis pushing boundaries." Nate throws Ellis under the bus so easily.
I nod, understanding as I kick off my shoes. "Jamie likes to do that too."
Bantering with Nate relaxes me just a bit, but I'm still nervous as heck.Fake it ‘til I make it.
"Shit," Ellis grunts, and I watch in fascination as he thumps his forehead onto Jamie's shoulder. He seems so comfortable when he looks up at the man I'm falling in love with. "They're always going to gang up on us, aren't they?"
What an oddly intimate statement.Always?
"Probably," Jamie murmurs, looking down at Ellis with a frown on his face. Their lips are inches apart, and just as I think they're about to kiss, my shuddering breath snaps Jamie out of his trance.
"Fuck," Jamie literally shakes himself, which dislodges Ellis. "V, it's not?—"
"What it looks like?" I finish for him, damning the ball in my throat for making my voice sound so tight.Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
Jamie looks worried as he walks toward me. "Nothing was?—"
"Going to happen?" I finish for him while eyeing his boner.
Nate snorts and struts into Jamie's living room.Why does he look so natural in this space?"Does she always complete your sentences?"
Jamie ignores the man and stares at me. Thankfully, he's stopped coming toward me, and hasn't touched me. I feel a little nauseous about the idea of him touching me right now since Ellis just had his hands on him.
Yet, I'm also a little annoyed hewon'ttouch me.
