"Thank you, sir." Cassidy smiles at the old man then turns to me, her eyes hard. "Violet cried for a long time after she left your place, Jamie. Leave her alone or I'll send our guardian neighbor to your doorstep the next time you hurt her."
My deep breath doesn't do anything to calm my raging emotions. "I know I fu—I know I hurt her, Cassidy. Why do you think I'm here? Please just tell me where she is."
"No."
My neck heats as my jaw clenches. "Who is she with?"
"None of your business."
A low rumble starts in my chest as my mind comes up with scenarios. Each is worse than the last, and they all have a common denominator. "Is she with another man?"
Cassidy's lips twitch, and for the life of me Icannotread her damn expression. "Probably. Four. Maybe six depending on how inconsolable she is."
"What the fuck?!" I roar, turning away from the doorwith my hands ripping my hair out only to come face to face with the old man.
"Leave. Now." His voice is menacing, sending chills down my spine. His story must be a good one.
My inhale is noisy, but it does its job and forces me to calm down. I take another because just the thought of Violet being near another man makes me murderous.
Suddenly, a flash of Violet between Ellis and me with Nate hovering nearby assaults my mind. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bat the idea away and force myself to address the situation at hand.
"I'm sorry, Cassidy." That's all I've got right now. I should leave. I need someone to take my mind off my woman.
My reaction is unfair. I'm running to two men to help me feel better. Why can't Violet do the same?
Because I want her to run to me, but she doesn't want me running to her.
My phone buzzes as I'm stomping out of the building. The slam of freezing air on my heated cheeks shocks my system and makes me yearn for the positive attention of the two people waiting for me.
Why does it have to be like this?
Sixteen
VIOLET
Exhausted, I lock the door behind me as I enter my apartment. I may have only been gone for two days, but stepping into the depressing space of my bedroom makes it feel like it's been months.
There's something about visiting my mom and family that alters me. Many times I feel sadder and weighed down after seeing them because they remind me of my mistakes and what I've lost.
This visit was healing. My mom had some very blunt wisdom to share, and it was exactly what I needed.
Coddling is nice, but I needed someone to look me in the eye, see me, and tell me how it is.
The fact of the matter is, I'm not going to really grow or learn if I don't face this head-on. I've been battling a war in my mind, but I was still hiding behind pointy objects and loud drums. All the questions and feelings that have been trapped inside need to come out.
Mom seems to think talking to Jamie is a good idea.The glare she leveled at me every time I ignored Jamie's texts would have told me that if she weren't so darn vocal.
Felix, Mom's alphahole man, was actually the one that stuck up for me.Let him sit in the shitstorm he created, sweetheart,he told her. The other three guys agreed and began devising ideas that would be good for Jamie to try when it comes time to grovel.
The truth is that I haven't been punishing Jamie by ignoring him. I needed space. It sounds toxic, and not responding wasn't the best choice I made, but I don't owe him anything.
He hurt me. He also sparked a tsunami of feelings that sent me running home to process what the hell was going on with me.
Now home and faced with my bare bedroom, I feel different. Like I really need to get some pictures set up on my nightstands and put some artwork on the walls.
This room is me. Bare. Minimalistic. And dull.
Everything I never used to be.
