Seven years later, and I've accidentally ripped most of my walls down. Turns out, I'm more messed up in the head than I thought.
Tasha tugs on my hair and spins me around in the chair. She's the salon manager and likes to hang out with me while I take my pictures for their social media.
Her pixie haircut is on point today, reminding me of my mom's friend Janine. She's always checking on me too, but I've always told her what she wants to hear.
Tasha is the same way. A dog sniffing out a bone.
Raising a perfect brow at me, Tasha waits for me to spill my guts. I don't though, which, like the dramatic person she is, sets Tasha off.
"Oh my god! Is it a man? Tell me someone has finally been able to get you to settle down! Yay! This is amazing."
"Tasha..." Reece, a hairdresser I would kind of consider a friend, frowns at his boss.
Tasha doesn't hear him, or she might just ignore him because her hands keep waving around in my face talking about makeup and a hairdo to sweep this mystery man off his feet.
"My goodness," she gushes, "this is the best news! I wasn't sure we'd ever see this day. How did he knock the scowl off your beautiful face? Did you let him hug you?"
My throat thickens with pent-up emotion. Most of it feels like hurt, but another part is frustration. Who does Tasha think she is talking to me like this? We're not besties. Hell, she employs me, and we only see each other for an hour a month.
"Tasha!" Reece snaps, turning from the older woman in his chair. The stranger looks at me with pity, which does nothing for my feelings.
Can I feel offended even if what Tasha said is true?
"What?!" Tasha throws her hands in the air then slams them on her hips. With her crappy attitude aimed at Reece, I slip from the chair while clutching my camera to my chest like it's my only lifeline.
Reece looks so angry with Tasha, yet when he glances at me as I make my escape, I don't see pity. If hewere into women, I might give him a chance after his show of support and kindness.Yeah, right, I scoff in my mind.Maybe if Jamie didn't exist.
I nod at Reece in thanks, and rush from the salon. The bell above the door dings, and I know Tasha will be running after me, so I rush into my car before locking the doors. I'm stomping on the gas and peeling away from the curb without a backward glance.
I would say I have a lot to think about, but my mind already has that under control. With every passing second, a new thought enters my mind.
How could Tasha say those things? She was right though.
Do I really come off so cold and horrible? Maybe not horrible but probably cold.
I never used to be a cold person. That's not who I am.
Maybe I never should have donned a mask like my mama did. But Mom didn't shield her entire self and personality from the world. Just the things she thought would hurt those she loved.
But that's what I did, right? Because my personality proved to be gullible and senseless. Bubbly and happy don't mean smart. I thought the person harassing me online was only annoying. Until he created more accounts and started demanding my location. Only when I started feeling scared, I told Mama.
I thought it was all part of being famous on social media...My videos and content of Blue and me received so much love I thought it was normal to have a few creeps in my DMs.
My naïveté almost got my mama killed.
So, I chose to mask it all. Violet with the smiles andskipping legs who befriended everyone has become a husk filled with pain and longing for the life she used to have.
I miss who I used to be. But why does it have to be so painful to come to that realization? Confronting the toxic traits I've acquired to keep people away from me is so damn hard I don't think I'll ever be able to do it again.
This is a one-time thing. I'll only deal with my crappy trajectory once because at my core I have a soft heart and a bubbly soul. I'm not cut out for another rewrite. Plus, how many chances will I get?
Not remembering the drive to the underground garage at my apartment is a bit sketchy, but at least I got myself here. A little processing didn't kill me this time.
Slumping against my seat, I turn the car off and squeeze my eyes shut.
I don't want to be the person people look at with shock if they think I have a boyfriend. Being humiliated today was the final straw. This camel's back is broken.
Which is probably why, when I turn my phone on and see Jamie's new message, I burst into tears.
