“You’re the best. I appreciate you covering my tracks. I’ll text them so they’ll stop worrying.”
“Well, I don’t know if they’llstop,but it might help.”
“I miss you.” I continued to rock, and my stomach grumbled a reminder I needed to eat. Sitting out here contemplating mylife and the choices I needed to make kept my mind churning day after day. And I still didn’t have it figured out. How did I reconcile the life I’d created in New York, with a future that included a baby and not the men who’d fathered said child?
“Miss you too. Come home when you can. Which I hope is soon. The house is annoyingly silent without you.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” I ended the call after a quick goodbye and stared at my phone, typing and retyping the message I’d known I needed to send. Hiding out at Dad’s house was one thing.
Hiding from Julian, Dante, and Alexander was something altogether different. It was the coward’s way out. Necessary in this situation, but still cowardly enough that it hurt every time I let myself think about it. What could I possibly say to them that would make them understand but not give everything away?
If they knew about the threats, they’d go absolutely postal.
I skipped from the half-formed message to the unknown number. I’d saved every message and read them often enough that they were burned into my memory. I read them again, just for the hell of it. Who could they be from? Aside from Lila, I’d told no one about my plans to leave New York. My email with my resignation had cited a vacation with extended leave of absence as my reason for leaving, but I hadn’t mentioned leaving the state.
And yet, I hadn’t gotten a single threatening message since emailing my resignation. Whoever sent the mystery messages must be watching without me knowing it.
My skin crawled with the sudden feeling of being watched. I shuddered and wrapped my arms over my stomach. The feeling persisted, going from a prickle of unease to full bodygoosebumps that raised the hair on the back of my neck. I glanced left and right, but nothing stood out. It wouldn’t, and I let that knowledge push me to my feet and into the house. I locked the door behind me and pulled all the curtains closed. No one knew me here, and the small beach house with its off white walls and beach themed decor had been rented out so many times through the Airbnb website that the neighbors hadn’t batted an eye when I pulled up and unpacked my car.
I checked the locks on the doors, then the windows, drawing the last of the curtains closed. A sudden sense of claustrophobia tugged at me. I’d already been forced out of my job and my home. Had they followed me here too, intent on some other nefarious activity?
What if the person watching me realized I would never get an abortion and decided to ruin my mens’ reputations out of spite? What if. What if.
I could what if all day every day and still never come to any concrete answers. I would never have those as long as the person pulling my strings remained in the shadows.
I wanted them yanked into the light, exposed for all the world to see. But that risked all of us, and that was the whole point of the bullshit resignation and my move to another state.
I pulled one of the rotisserie chickens from the refrigerator and added a side of potatoes and green beans, along with a glass of tea. Checking the windows one last time, I carried my meal to the breakfast nook tucked away in the back corner of the kitchen and settled on the bench seat. I used to have meals here every day during summer break. Dad always took off for the summer and we’d come here. I hadn’t realized how odd that was until I went to college and all my friends talked about how much theyhated their parents. They talked about rules and how they’d lashed out, how they loved college because it meant finally having freedom.
I hadn’t understood them. Dad was wonderful. I’d never once wanted anyone else as a parent. “That’s what I’m going to be for you.” I tapped my belly. “Pretty soon, I’ll be able to feel you moving around in there. I’m going to show you so many things. I’m going to love you and protect you with my whole heart. You might only have one parent, but I’ll be the best parent ever.”
Dad taught me how, and I’d carry that legacy forward with my baby.
But for now I had to face the men who’d helped me reach this point. I set my phone beside my plate and tapped out a message.
I’m sorry that I haven’t reached out. I’m fine. There’s no need to worry. I will not be returning to work, and I wish you all the best.
I read it five times, considered adding a bit more of an “I love you” vibe but resisted by the slimmest margin. If I admitted my feelings, they might say it back.
I’d wonder if they really meant it, even though my head told me often enough that these men did not do anything they did not want to do. And if they said it back, I’d be even more tempted to tell them the truth and let hell roast the person blackmailing me.
Which might be for the best. Except it all came back to the reason I’d left in the first place. I was not worth them losing their reputation. I would not take down the entire company because I’d fallen in love with all three of my bosses. I ate my meal and pushed the plate aside to focus on the message. Too bland. Too scripted. It needed more.
I added:I’m somewhere safe and I intend to stay there. I do not want you looking for me.
My mouth puckered at the lie, but I tapped send before I could change my mind.
The food churned in my gut, forcing me to my feet. I carried my dishes to the sink and washed them one by one, concentrating on every dirty speck to keep from second guessing the message I’d sent.
How long could I really hide out here? I’d have to work eventually. What about childcare? What kind of job would I find in Virginia? I would have to put down my previous employment, and any good employer would call Elevate to ask about me.
That one phone call would give away my location. But by then, they might be over me.
Honestly, it was pretty bold of me to think that I had any claim on their hearts. Once they read my message, they’d give up and move on.
Fuck my life. I hated the thought of them with anyone else “Do what has to be done, Harper.” I checked my phone because I couldn’t help myself.
No new messages. I opened the thread and one tiny word carved out my heart.Seen. They’d seen the message and not responded.
