For now. One thing. We’d been able to do one thing to help Harper. Two if I considered the text message. We’d brought her home safe and made sure she remained that way.
Dante cursed and punched a fist into the steering column. “Fucking helpless. I hate it.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” I pressed my shoulder blades into the seat and rubbed a hand over my eyes. We were fucking helpless. No matter what we did or tried to do, we put Harper at risk.
And now she’d pushed us out of her life.
24
HARPER
Safe. A single word had never meant so much to me. It was like love. Warm and wholesome and all-encompassing.
Lila closed the door and locked it. “Go sit down. I’ll make you something to eat.” She hurried toward the kitchen, barely stopping to kick off her shoes and drop her purse onto the narrow table behind the couch.
I sank into the plush cushions and dragged the throw off the back of the couch, wrapping it around my shoulders. A shudder ripped through my body, followed by another.
Dante, Julian, and Alexander drove out of sight, taking my heart with them. Maybe I should have told them about the baby, but I’d just learned the news and a part of me wanted to hold onto it for a minute.
I placed a hand on my stomach and closed my eyes. A baby. I’d never considered motherhood as something I would be interested in.
Lila opened a cabinet, and the rattle of pots and pans filled the empty house with a clatter. I almost smiled, but the threat of tears caused it to quiver and fall away.
The scent of ginger and lemon drifted across my nose. “Here. Try drinking this.”
I cracked my eyes open and found Lila standing beside me with a cup held out. “What is it?”
“Lemon ginger tea. It’s supposed to help with nausea. You’ve gone pale again, and I need you to eat without getting sick.” She pushed the cup closer. “Drink. Slowly.”
“Thank you.” A waver shook my voice, but I took the cup with steady hands and sipped. “It’s not bad.”
Lila nodded and wheeled toward the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. That was what I’d wanted, but sitting here staring at the sunshine yellow walls gave me too much open space and emptiness. My mind refused to settle, except to keep reminding me of the brand new life growing inside me.
Pregnant. Dad would have been thrilled. The thought brought a new wave of grief. How was I supposed to wrap my mind around the idea of being pregnant when I could barely bring myself to think about it?
I ran my hand up and down over my belly, and a surge of pure love warmed me from head to toe. I might not have considered motherhood, but now that it had been thrown in my lap, I was all in.
“I’m keeping the baby.” I spoke loud enough for my words to carry into the kitchen.
Lila poked her head around the wall where the kitchen and dining room met. “I thought you would. You’ll be a great mom.”
“I don’t know about that, but I’m going to protect him, or her, no matter the cost.” I rubbed my stomach again. No matter the cost. Another sip of tea and the nausea abated. I finished off the cup and set it on the coffee table, then pulled my feet onto the couch and tilted my head to watch Lila bustle around in our small kitchen.
Our cozy home was perfect for us, but would it be big enough for a baby, then a toddler? Hardly. Lila and I already tripped over each other in the two-bedroom space.
Lila stirred something on the stove, then poured it from the pot into two matching bowls. She plated a small tray of sandwiches and carried them into the living room. “Soup and sandwiches. Not elegant but filling and easy enough to eat with an upset stomach.”
After she set the food down, she curled up in the far corner of the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. “How are you going to tell them about the baby?”
I picked up a sandwich but couldn’t bring myself to take a bite. Instead, I turned it around and around in my hands. “I don’t know. I need to think about it and come up with a plan.”
“Do you think they’ll be upset or something?” Lila hugged her calves and pulled her bowl of soup close to her chin. She blew on the hot liquid, sending curls of steam between us.
“I don’t know.” I hated having to say that again and again, but it was true. “We never talked about the possibility. I told them I was on birth control, so we never…” I shrugged as I trailed off.
We didn’t have a normal relationship. I’d slept with them. The responsibility for all of this fell on me.
“Harper, you need to tell them. Soon.” Lila set her bowl down without taking a bite. “They need to know. It’s not fair to keep this from them. You wouldn’t want them keeping secrets from you.”
