“You have a connection?”Chiara asks.
I grin widely, can’t help it.“A connection like nothing I’ve ever felt before.Or imagined I could feel.”
There I said it.And all the feelings I have for Matteo are more now, not less—more amplified, more real, more visceral.If he were here right now, I would probably kiss him because I couldn’t help it.
“Wow,” Chiara says breathily and leans back on the sofa, looking at me like she’s seeing me for the first time.“Wow.”
Lidia says nothing, but is looking at me in the same way.
“But maybe I should break it off with him,” I say and all the emotions running through me just turn into a deluge of sadness.Like the coldest winter rain on the coldest, greyest day.
“What?Why?”Chiara asks.
I don’t want to say it.
“Because Dad’s warned me now.And next time he’ll just have him removed… maybe even killed.”
They both gasp again.
“Dad isn’t like that…” Lidia says, but it sounds like she doesn’t believe it herself.
“You don’t get to be the head of the New York mafia without being exactly that guy.”
Neither of them can argue with that.
And I can’t either.
I was born to be a dutiful daughter.An obedient, meek daughter who does as she’s told.Because if I don’t, people die.
So I must do as I was ordered.Because I can’t live with another death on my conscience.Especially not Matteo’s.
It was nice pretending for a moment, but the consequences are too deadly if I carry on.
“You can’t just forget about him… not if you have a connection,” Lidia says quietly.“You won’t be able to.Because it’s against the laws of love.”
“The laws of love?”Chiara asks, scoffing.“What’s that?”
“A real thing,” Lidia says, more defiantly than I’ve ever heard her speak yet.“Love is force that can’t be denied.”
She turns to me.“And you shouldn’t try to deny it either.Who knows when and if any of us will ever find love?Don’t throw your chance away.”
“Even if Dad kills him for it?”
She shakes her head.“He won’t, not if he sees you’re in love.I’m sure of it.”
I’ve rarely heard Lidia speak so assertively or give advice in such a forceful manner.For that alone, I believe her.But I also believe her because she’s absolutely right.This could be my one and only chance to explore love, or whatever this thing I’m experiencing with Matteo is.
But is it worth risking his life for it?
Chapter26
MATTEO
I’ve beenat my post outside Goldie’s door for almost an hour and she hasn’t stuck her pretty little head out to greet me yet.Very unusual given how she’s been acting the last couple of days.Very worrying, given the job I must do for Angelo.For my own future.
I’m trying not to read too much into it.But I can hear her talking with her sisters inside, since they all have voices that carry very well.I wonder what Goldie’s voice would sound like when she’s coming… probably loud enough to wake the dead, but sweet enough to make me wanna make her come even harder… can’t wait to find out…
I gotta avoid that kind of thinking.
