I don’t think that fact is in any way lost on Matteo.A bunch of things flash across his bright eyes.Shadows mostly.Some of them covering his whole face.And I’m thinking I could be quite happy just watching those shadows play on his face for the rest of my life.
“You know what, Goldie, I wouldn’t mind doing that either,” he finally says, grinning in a way that leaves his eyes completely untouched, just full of that sharp light that’s exactly like the sun breaking through thick dark clouds after a storm.“But we’re not allowed to go much beyond the general vicinity of the apartment.”
“You had instructions?”I ask.
“Strict ones.The park and no more than ten blocks,” he says.“And be back in two hours or less.”
I feel about ten years old right now.A little girl playing pretend.Acting out a fantasy of being on a date, of falling in love, of having the whole day and night to myself with him, when that reality will never be mine.
“It’s for your own protection,” he adds.
“I’ve been so protected my whole life I can hardly breathe anymore.”
And I’m not lying.I am suffocating in my high tower, locked away from the world.
Freedom.That’s the actual fantasy.The unattainable fantasy.
“But I wouldn’t mind taking you out,” he says.“If I could.”
I feel his words more than hear them.And that can’t just be a fantasy.No way.I finish my coffee and stand up.
“Come on then, there’s plenty of fun things to do in a ten-block radius, not to mention the park.”
I don’t wait for him to reply, I just walk out into the dying golden sunlight.Fantasy it might be.But it’s all I got.And I’m making the best of it.
He follows, stands in front of me like a wall separating me and the world I long to enjoy firsthand.I’m sure he’ll tell me to behave now, that I must do as I’m told, that he’s taking me back home.
“Show me,” he says instead.
“What?”I stammer, so surprised his words were nothing that I expected them to be.
“Whatever you want.”He smiles and I believe it’s exactly what he wants too.
“I will,” I say, smiling widely too.“Follow me.”
And he does.
Maybe this isn’t all just a fantasy after all.
Maybe it’s the first day of my real life.The life I always wanted, but never thought I’d have.
Chapter22
MATTEO
Goldie isthis weird mix of soft, naive innocence and hard as steel will.The first is probably to do with her age.The second something she’ll grow into.None of that is my concern.She’s just a means to an end now.
I’m glad my charm is working so well on her.A few smiles.A few personal comments.A little touching.Never fails with the innocent ones.Or women in general.
It’s all down to the ruin curse.All of us Rovinas have a magnetism that comes in the blood and can’t be turned off.My sister Bella had so much of it, she sent our whole family down a spiral that left most of us dead.
Maybe I can make a whole batch of new Rovinas with Goldie here once this is all over.If Ferro lets me keep her after he’s done overthrowing her father, or whatever his plan is.
That’s like the tenth time I’ve caught myself thinking about that and it’s stupid.She’s already caused me enough grief and misfortune to last a lifetime in the few short days that I’ve known her.I will not be signing up for an actual lifetime of it.
No matter how well her own brand of magnetism is pulling me in.I don’t remember the last time a women occupied my thoughts as much as she does.Maybe way back in the beginning, when I was young and only just learning that falling in love was possible.
We’re strolling out of Central Park where she’s spent the last hour or so pointing out the different famous places as though one bedrock formation is different from another, or one field of grass more special than another.I’ve been enjoying the view of skyscrapers rising beyond the treetops and the sound of her voice.More than is good for me, it seems, because I’m thinking I wouldn’t mind listening to her talk all the time.
