But I kind of want him to.
I keep my eyes locked on him as I slide my hands down, unzipping his jeans at an agonizingly slow pace. His head tiltsback against the mattress as I continue my torturous exploration, pressing kisses lower and lower as I go, tasting every inch of him.
There’s something electric in the air between us. It’s more than hunger. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once. And when I look into his eyes, there is a sense of longing there, like I’m something he can’t lose.
I realize I feel the exact same way about him.
30
ALEX
I wake up before her. Emma’s still asleep in my arms, her bare shoulder peeking out from under the covers. I try to keep myself from overthinking, but it’s impossible. This is the first time she’s ever been here, first time I’ve ever woken up next to her inmyhouse, inmysheets, and it feels like a fucking dream. A dream that I’m terrified of waking up from.
What if I do? What if this slips through my fingers before I even get a chance to hold on properly?
I know every inch of her, I can describe her with my eyes closed. But I still find myself staring at her and taking in every detail like the very first time. She’s been mine for maybe a month, and the thought of losing her now to something completely out of our control is unbearable.
She shifts against me, letting out a quiet exhale as she starts to wake up. I watch as her eyes flutter open, adjusting to the morning light.
“Happy Birthday, mi cielo,” I murmur, brushing my fingers over her arm.
She stretches, letting out a little groan before turning to look at me. I’m sure she is too tired to catch the change in nicknamebut I hope she knows what it means. The literal translation is “my sky,” but it is a declaration of my love, a love so boundless it feels infinite. She is everything to me; the sky above, the air I breathe, the horizon I look for. I hope she knows it is the only phrase that even comes close to describing her.
“Mmm… you’re staring.”
“Yeah.” I don’t even bother denying it. “You’re breathtaking.”
She rolls her eyes but still smiles. I feel it hit me straight in the chest.
I hesitate, but I have to ask. “How are you feeling?” My fingers brush over her wrist, where her pulse beats steadily beneath her skin. “Is this too much?”
Her expression shifts lightly, her features tightening. “No, Alex.”
I don’t like the way she says my name in warning.
“I’m serious, Em,” I say, sitting up slightly. “I’m just worried?—”
“I don’t need you to treat me like I’m dying,” she cuts in. “Ialready know.Youalready know. There’s no need for constant reminders.”
I understand what she means, but still, I grit my teeth, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, but the words come out before I have time to think them through. “You’re not dying, Em.”
She looks like she’s about to argue, but I don’t let her.
“Don’t say it like that,” I add. “You don’t just get to accept that as fact. It’s not going to happen. You’re going to get a heart, and you’re going to be fine.”
She watches me for a moment and I can picture the thoughts scrambling in her head trying to break free. Without a word, she moves closer, sliding over me until she’s straddling my hips. Her fingers trail up my chest as her lips brush against my jaw. “I’m fine,” she whispers, her mouth moving down to my neck.
I swallow hard. “Emiliana.”
“Shhh.” She nips at the skin there, and whatever protest I was about to make dies in my throat.
She’s proving a point, I know that. She’s showing me she’s still here now and that should be enough.
If this is how she wants to prove it, I’m not about to argue.
I let her take control as she presses me back against the pillows, letting her remind me just how alive she is. When I pull her down, I kiss her slower and deeper than ever before, threaded with all the things I can’t say out loud.
I need her.
