“Alex…” I trail off, unsure where I am going with the sentence.
“I’m not asking for forever, Em. Just one afternoon.”
He looks at me with the same mischievous and gentle facial expression that used to make me give in every single time. It’s the same look he gave me the night he convinced me to sneak out of my house and drove us to the lake. That was the last time we were together, the night before our big fight about me leaving Windhaven. We were eighteen. I had my bare feet on the dash, a stolen bottle of cheap champagne in my lap, and no clue how much that night would matter.
Maybe that’s why I say yes.
The drive is quiet,but not awkward. Alex has one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the center console, close enough to brush against my arm. I can tell he isn’t sure how much touching or affection I’m willing to accept just because we had sex, sohe doesn’t push it.
He glances over at me a few times, as if checking to make sure I’m still there and he isn’t making it all up in his head.
When we pull up to the lake, my breath catches in my throat.
The water is still and glassy, framed by trees that are starting to shed multi-colored leaves. The wind carries a bite, hinting at the cold that’s coming, but the sun’s still warm on my face.
“There’s really nothing more beautiful than this place,” I say, stepping out of the truck and hugging the hoodie tighter around my body. Despite the size of it completely consuming me, I kept it on when I got ready for the day, throwing only on a bra and leggings underneath. There’s something comforting and familiar about wearing something that belongs to Alex again.
If I’m being honest, I wasn’t ready to let go of that feeling yet, in case I don’t get it back after today.
I don’t think he means to say the words aloud but they slip out anyway.
“I can think of a thing or two,” he says, coming around my side.
The last time we were here, we spent most of the night kissing under the stars. It was real, full of want and fear, and that desperate teenage hope of whatever it was lasting beyond what was to come. I’d already made up my mind that I was going to leave Windhaven, so I found myself wanting to savor every second I had left with him that night. I wanted to ask him to come with me to New York, but I ultimately decided not to. Our fight the following day was reason enough to know that he wouldn’t have said yes.
Looking up at him as he admires the lake in front makes something inside me ache with regret.
“I didn’t expect it to feel like this,” I finally admit.
“Like what?”
“Like no time has passed since the last time we were here together.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while. I start to think he won’trespond when he surprises me by saying, “I dare you to jump in.”
I whip my head around. “You’re insane. It’s freezing.”
His eyes glint. “Scared?”
“Of hypothermia? Yes. Weren’t you so adamant about not wanting me to freeze without a fire inside my house a few weeks ago? Now you want me to jump into a freezing lake?”
He grins, but before I can stop him, he starts tugging off his shirt.
“Alex!”
It’s too late. The shirt hits the truck bed. His jeans are gone in seconds too, leaving him in only briefs, grinning like a maniac.
“Oh my God, you’re serious.”
He backs up toward the dock. “Come on, Princess. Live a little.”
And then he runs—full speed, arms flailing like a little kid. He leaps off the edge and hits the water with a loud splash. The sound echoes around and all I see are water ripples as I wait for Alex to resurface. He takes in one, big gasp of air as he runs both hands through his wet hair to slick back the pieces across his face.
“Holy shit!” he shouts. “It’s freezing!”
“No shit! No way in hell I’m getting in there!”
He grins up at me from the water. “Chicken.”
