Tate’s mouth curved into a slight smile. His eyes fell to my lips, and I instinctively licked them. God help me, despite everything, I still wanted him with every fiber of my being. I’d longed for him every day for the past four years. Now I didn’t think I’d ever be able tohave him again—not if it meant hurting Taylor. I couldn’t change Nicholas being Taylor’s brother, but I could choose the way I proceeded with his father. And that meant notproceedingat all. Unfortunately, that only made me want him more.
“Should you be getting back?” I forced myself to say.
“I don’t want to go,” he muttered.
“It’s getting late,” I added. “I need to put him to bed.”
“Can I stay until you do?” he asked softly.
How can I say no?“Of course. I have to give him a bath. He won’t mind an audience.” I smiled. “He loves baths.”
Tate grinned. “He does?”
I laughed. “By the time we get done, it usually looks like I took one with him.”
He chuckled, and his eyes lingered on mine again. “So much I’ve missed. It still feels like a dream.”
With my emotions rising to the surface, I quickly switched gears, rounding up Nicholas and running his bath. I couldn’t let Tate see how much of an effect he had on me.
Tate sat atop the toilet as he watched our son play in the suds.
Our son.
It was the first time I’d referred to Nicholas as anything butmyson, even just in my head.
I tried to focus on the task at hand but couldn’t help looking at Tate from time to time, catching the look of awe on his face as he watched Nicholas splash and squeal with delight.
As I knelt to lather Nicholas, I thought I sensed Tate peeking down my shirt. Or was it my imagination? Either way, I felt my body come alive at the mere idea of his eyes on me. I’d spent the past four years either pregnant or ignoring my own needs in order to keep another human being alive, which didn’t leave much time to feel sexy. But Tate’s mere presence served as a reminder of what it had felt like to be desired.
Tate began a game where he’d steal some of the bath toys, hide them behind his back, then throw them back into the tub for Nicholas to catch. Nicholas giggled whether he caught them or not.
From the outside, it looked like a simple bath. But it was the beginning of a new normal I had no idea whether I was ready for. Could my heart handle what I had to do when it came to Tate? We had to find a way to be co-parents and nothing more.
Chapter 25
BLAIR
With butterflies in my stomach, I pulled into a parking spot at the aquarium.
Before Tate had left last night, I’d asked if he wanted to join Nicholas and me for an outing today, since it was the last full day we wouldn’t have to worry about Taylor spotting us together. Taylor and Juliana were scheduled to return from Aruba tomorrow.
Tate was waiting at the entrance when Nicholas and I approached. His hands were in his pockets as he looked around, seeming to search for us. He hadn’t noticed us yet, but the sight of him took my breath away. Tate was always handsome, but he looked hotter than ever in his dark-wash jeans, rugged boots, and a hooded gray sweatshirt rolled up at the sleeves, displaying his sexy tattoo-covered forearms. He wore a baseball cap backward, which had been a weakness even before I’d seen Tate wearing one. But on him? It was still my kryptonite.
He has a girlfriend, I reminded myself. The idea of Tate with another woman still stirred jealousy inside me.Over the years, I’d often wondered whether he’d gotten married or fallen in love, and I’d always felt jealous. I’d finally mastered the art of blocking the idea, but that was out the window now.
“Hey.” Tate beamed when he turned and saw us coming.
I held Nicholas’s hand and looked down at him. “You remember Mommy’s friend…”
Nicholas nodded.
Tate knelt. “Are you excited to see the fish?”
Nicholas smiled but said nothing, hiding his face behind my leg.
“He’s being shy today,” I explained.
“That’s okay.” Tate stood. “He doesn’t owe me anything.”
