And please don’t blame yourself for not doing everything perfectly in the past. Today and every day is a new day.
Love,
Blair
The paper shook in my hand.
What the fuck?
She’s gone?
I read the letter at least two more times, my hand trembling.
This couldn’t be true.I’ll never see her again?I’d planned to give her my number before she left, in case she ever needed me. Maybe I’d have gotten her last name, though she would’ve had to trust that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life stalking her.
Sadness consumed me. I couldn’t believe she thought leaving without a proper goodbye was the answer.
Should I race to the airport?
My heart pounded.
Think.
Think.
This wasn’t a decision she’d made lightly.
I had to respect her wishes, as painful as that was.
Still, I stormed down the hall to the elevator and went to her room—just in case. Perhaps there was a tiny chance she hadn’t left yet.
I knocked.
There was no answer.
My stomach knotted. But I still hadn’t accepted it yet.
I raced down to the lobby and looked around. No sign of her. I also checked the two restaurants. No Blair.
I asked the front desk if someone named Blair had checked out, and while they said no, it wasn’t a requirement to stop by the desk when you were leaving, so that wasn’t necessarily encouraging.
After searching the resort inside and out, I had no choice but to try to accept that Blair had left.
She’s gone.
My profound sadness was much worse than I’d anticipated feeling when we parted ways. This felt more like having my heart ripped out. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
I returned to my room and lay back on my bed to read her letter a couple more times, then I closed my eyes as I drowned in regret.
I felt completely helpless, with no way to contact her. Visitor information was private, though I probably could’ve finagled her contact information from our business office. My family did own the place. But if Blair didn’t want me to know her last name, if she’d chosen to end things this way, what good would obtaining that information do? She could’ve left me her number or her last name in that damn letter. But she didn’t, and I wouldn’t violate her privacy.
As the minutes passed, I felt more and more empty inside, the regret overwhelming. I should’ve slept with her, should’ve given her the experience she’d asked me for and that I’d wanted with every fiber of my being. Why had I been so damn scared? Yes, she was young, but she was still a freaking adult. I knew her well enough to see that now—now that she was gone and the choice to act on it had disappeared. Perhaps my hesitancy was what made her decide I wasn’t worthy of a goodbye, let alone her last name or number.
I finally went downstairs just before the breakfast buffet ended. Not that I had an appetite, but I needed to do something other than wallow in my room. I arrived just as they were getting ready to clear it, grabbing the last bagel and a banana. But when I spotted Langley sitting with her parents, I decided to take the food back upstairs after all. The last thing I needed was to make miserable small talk while I was feeling like shit.
Before I could make my escape, though, Langley came toward me.
“You’re alone again.” She smiled.
