I take a deep breath. I don’t even have to lie anymore. Or, no wait, I do. My heart sinks. Elias and I are not really dating. Just hooking up—no-strings attached. He’s leaving as soon as a pro coach comes along.
“Did he do something? Ben?”
“No.” I shake my head, pulling myself together. “Let’s go to my room, I can put my things away and we’ll have a modicum of privacy.”
Nate reluctantly agrees, helping me carry my bags up the stairs. When we reach my room, he crosses his arms and watches me sternly as I rest my racket bag against the wall.
“So …” I take a deep breath, excited to share this news with my best friend, but also … a little nervous now the moment is actually here.
“I lost my virginity.”
Nate’s eyes widen, his eyebrows shooting up.
“Ben!”
I can see his excitement is hindered by something. Maybe the fact he doesn’t wholly approve of Elias for me. I want to just tell him the truth, but I can’t stand the thought of the disappointment on his face when he finds out I’ve been lying to him.
He unfolds his arms and starts to cross the room and then stops. He looks lost, like he doesn't know what to do with himself.
“Tell me everything,” he says finally.
I wrinkle my nose. “Everything?” My face heats up again. As much as I’m sure Nate wouldn’t judge me, I’m still not sure I need to share every little detail of my sex life with anyone other than the person I’m having sex with. Oh mygosh, that sounds so weird—the person I’m having sex with. I’m having sex!Withsomeone.
“Or … whatever you want to tell me.”
I slump onto the bed and look down at my hands with a nervous smile. “It was … he was … really patient.”
When I look up, Nate’s nodding, still frowning, but that’s okay.
“It was …” I roll my lips to keep in the goofy smile, but it doesn’t work. Finally, Nate mirrors my expression.
“It’s really good, right?”
“Oh my God, the best!”
Unable to contain his excitement any longer, and obviously allowing it to overtake any apprehension he may be feeling over Elias, he moves closer and shakes me by the shoulders. I flop back when he lets me go, feeling his weight sink down next to me on the bed.
“So, what did you do? You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want, it’s just cool to get to talk about this with you now.”
“Are you asking if I topped or bottomed?”
When I glance at Nate,he’sblushing. He nods.
“I’ve always known I wanted to bottom. It just looked like it feels so good … it does feel good.”
“I know.”
We look at each other and laugh. I love being able to share this with him.
“You like that?”
“Mm,” Nate nods, frowning seriously. “But I also like to top, too.”
I nod. “I’m not sure I’d like that, or Elias would want to.”
“I still can’t believe you lost your virginity to Elias.”
“Why?” My defenses threaten to come up, but I warn them to relax.
