Page 15 of No Bones About It


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After breakfast, we hit the beach and the boardwalk.

Why, I’m not sure. It was November, windy, and cold. But we bundled up in our coats and wandered outside anyway, inexplicably looping our arms together. It wasn’t practical because we took up half the boardwalk, but I didn’t say anything, since there weren’t a lot of people out this morning. Also, I was on the end of the line and only had to loop arms with Basia, so it wasn’t too bad.

Atlantic City’s beach was beautiful, the water dark and white-capped. The wind was brisk beneath the chilly autumn sun, stealing whatever warmth the rays offered. A few tourists wandered the white sand snapping photos while seagulls screeched and dive-bombed them, looking for food. Another reminder of my ill-fated encounter with the birds.

“Thieves,” I muttered.

After everyone except me took a ridiculous number of photos, we launched into an afternoon of shopping along the boardwalk lined with overpriced boutiques, expensive restaurants, and souvenir shops. Several of the shops were closed for the season, but enough of them were open to draw tourists, like us, inside.

We bought ice cream in forty-degree weather in a small store that had postcards, beach gear, and, strangely, a couple of slot machines.

“This feels wrong,” I said, teeth chattering as I licked my ice cream while sitting at one of the shop tables.

“Consider it an adventure,” Gwen said, eating her cone.

Basia finished her ice cream and wandered over to the slot machine. She pulled some money out of her purse and put it into the machine. It chimed and whirred. She pulled down on the handle and suddenly lights started flashing and coins spilled out. A puff of confetti spit out from the machine.

“OMG! I just won a hundred dollars!” Basia squealed.

She hugged each of us before immediately cashing it in and spending most of it on a giant bag of caramel popcorn, a sea-glass necklace, three soy candles, and a tray made entirely of seashells.

She was downright giddy as we left the ice cream shop. We wandered around for a bit before stepping into a clothing boutique with a lot of mirrors.

Basia grabbed a cute dress off the rack. “Wow, look at this cute maternity dress. I’m going to try it on.” She headed back toward the dressing room.

Gwen pulled down a white blouse and followed Basia.

Gray strolled around and finally stopped in front of a table of sweaters. “I’ll try this gray sweater,” she said and then tossed me the same one, but in blue. “Try it out, Lexi. Blue looks good on you.”

“I don’t need any more sweaters.”

“Just try it. You know, for the girl-bonding experience.”

Reminding myself to venture out of my comfort zone, I did. The dressing rooms were small and curtained. I preferred doors, but nonetheless, I stepped inside, changed, and reached for the curtain to go back out and ask the girls their opinion of it.

The curtain and rod suddenly detached from the walls and the whole assembly fell on top of me. The two of us exited the dressing room together.

“What the heck?” I said, doing some karate moves to untangle myself from the curtain. Finally, I emerged, gripping the curtain in one fist, my hair sticking straight up from the static electricity. I sneezed hard, three times in a row, before wiping my nose on the back on my hand.

“Wow, these are kind of dusty.”

The store fell quiet and the store associate and a woman customer at the register stared at me, open-mouthed. Basia, Gwen, and Gray all peeked out from behind the curtains of their dressing rooms, staring at me in shock.

“Lexi?” Basia asked carefully. “What happened?”

“I’m not sure. I wanted to show you what this sweater looks like on me. I put it on, but as I exited the dressing room, the curtain thing just collapsed on me. I did not pull hard on the curtain. It just gave way…on my head. Wholly unprovoked, I assure you.”

The cashier blinked, as if she couldn’t figure out what to say. She finally spoke. “Are you…okay?”

“Yes,” I said with as much dignity as I could summon. “I’m fine. The curtain, however, apparently needs some attention. Here.” I shoved the dusty curtain and rod across the counter. The associate looked at it for a long moment before she gingerly took it. The woman who was standing nearby purchasing a skirt took three steps away from me.

Gwen covered her mouth, stifling a laugh. “OMG, Lexi.”

The store associate gathered the curtain and the rod and placed it behind the counter. “Well, I’m sorry that happened. If it matters, I like that sweater on you.” She mustered a smile.

“Good, I’ll take it. I’ll be right back.”

I quickly retrieved my purse, shirt, and coat from the curtainless room. Since I couldn’t change in private, I kept the sweater on and paid for it. I let the girls know I’d be waiting for them outside before I broke something else or someone decided to offer me therapy.