“I don’t know what you mean,” Elizabeth hissed, turning her face away from me. “I am not spending time with anyone.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “And I do not have feelings for my childhood enemy.”
Elizabeth’s gaze jerked to mine. “What?”
I hadn’t meant to blurt such a statement, but I was glad it was said. Elizabeth needed to know she could trust me. “Not everything is how we wish it to be, but as sisters, we should be honest and try to help each other through it. That is all I’m saying.”
Elizabeth scooted closer, taking Tabitha’s seat. “You care for Mr. Ashworth?”
I took a precautionary glance at Mama to make sure she could not hear me. “It doesn’t matter. He told Papa today that he would not marry me.”
Elizabeth’s hand stole to her chest. “What will you do?”
“How am I supposed to know? I just realized the depth of my feelings this afternoon. It’s too late.”
“So that’s why you were rambling earlier.”
I shrugged. “It might be too late for me, but there is still hope for you. Philip is not from our station, Elizabeth. You cannot have his life and ours. Society does not work that way.”
“Society is boring,” Elizabeth said. I thought about her statement. She might not think she cared, but she enjoyed nice things more than anyone in this house. Her pink gown with embroidered chiffon overlay was theperfect example. It was finer than most of my evening gowns. Elizabeth always insisted on having the very best.
I was quite certain if I brought up her expensive habits, she would argue that she could do without. I tried another avenue instead, ready to be on her side if she could convince me. “Can you tell me that Philip is the best man you have ever met?”
My question took her off guard. Her lips worked, as if she wanted to tell me the truth but was fighting against it. Perhaps I should start with what I thought of Rowan. I cleared my throat. “Even though I have been unkind to Rowan—”
“Rowan?” Elizabeth’s brows raised.
I gave her a droll look. “He was not Mr. Ashworth when we were children, so it is hard to call him anything else.”
“Sorry, you may continue.”
“I was unkind to Rowan, but he did not hesitate to help me when I fell from my horse. I have done much to provoke him, but for some reason, he keeps forgiving me and bestowing more kindness. There is not a better man in all my acquaintances.” My heart thudded in my chest, the truth of my words settling deep within my soul.
Elizabeth sighed. “I tried to stay on your side, but I must agree that Mr. Ashworth is a good match for you. If I could remedy your situation I would, but I find my own problems are consuming me. I admit Philip is rough around the edges. His words are sweet, but I cannot tell if he speaks that way to everyone. I thought I saw him flirting with a maid the other day outside the kitchen while I was walking in the garden.” Elizabeth glanced at Mama, then back at me. “What do I do?”
“You have always been a smart young lady, Elizabeth. I think you know the answer already.”
Her face fell, and she nodded. “I want someone who treats me as Rowan treats you.”
I knew the feeling. I wanted that too.
The men entered the drawing room, having taken longer than usual, but I was grateful for it. Elizabeth had finally trusted me with her feelings. Now if only I could discover what to do about my own.
My eyes met Rowan’s as he took a seat opposite of Mama’s near the fire, the farthest chair in the room from me. He quickly looked away and struck up a conversation with Mama. It was a small slight, but it was a sharp reminder that I should not harbor any hope for resolution. My stomach knotted in a million different ways.
Maybe Elizabeth had the right to it. It was hard to rescue another when you felt like you were drowning.
Mr. Clodwick took a seat on the sofa perpendicular to ours, his knee brushing mine. I immediately shifted away from him, self-conscious of the awkward touch.
“Miss Delafield,” he asked. “Have you heard any word from Lady Farthington?”
“Pardon?” I don’t know why his mention of my aunt brought instant annoyance. I knew he had agreed to marry me for this express reason, and it was a miracle he was still here. But could he not think of me just once?
Mr. Clodwick set his hands on his lap. “I have written her a letter of apology. I did not think she would be so sensitive to my concerns about churches. Your father says Mr. Ashworth will take it with him when he leaves in the morning to escort Lady Farthington to London.”
“I knew nothing of these arrangements.” They had likely been made this afternoon.
Mr. Clodwick adopted a look of contrition. “I fear it is on my account. I hope my letter will make amends.”
