“Coffee, my lady? Would you care for some fresh raspberry tarts?” Thomas asked.
“No, thank you,” Jane said, “nothing more.” Her glance drifted to and settled upon the earl.
His chest was tight—everything was tight. He waved Thomas away. “That will be all for tonight, thank you.” He rose, went to Jane, and drew back her chair. His hands brushed her shoulders. Tremors traveled along his spine from the slight contact.
“Well,” Jane said, with a small smile.
“Would you like another drink?”
She bit her lip, her blue eyes upon him. “No, I— I think I—I’ll go upstairs.”
He stared at her in the following silence, then nodded. With his hand, he touched her back as she moved forward, ahead of him.
It took an eternity to ascend the stairs to the second floor. The earl’s heart was beating thickly, out of control, even uncomfortably. Would she invite him in? Would she? The question echoed, tormented, consumed him.
At her door she paused, her back to him. He stood behind her, waiting. She turned slightly and looked at him with a tremulous, uncertain gaze. It was not an invitation. Yet it was not a rejection. They stared at each other for endless moments.
The earl heard himself say, thickly, “Do you want me to come in?” And in the ensuing seconds time came to a standstill.
“Yes,” she whispered finally, blushing pink.
Joy suffused him. His gaze went bright like lightning, and he smiled. She smiled too. The earl reached past her and pushed open the door, and together they went in.
45
As sleep faded, Nick reached for Jane.
His hand found only the warm space on her side of the bed, and it lingered there, while his consciousness returned. With it came recollection of the night before and that morning, when, a few hours earlier, he’d awakened her with his hands and mouth, to make love to her again. The first time had been frantic, the last soft and easy. He was stirring now. Amazingly, he could not get enough of her and he wanted her again.
He opened his eyes to look up at the peach silk tenting of the canopy above his head, listening for her, for the sounds of her return. A smile lazily appeared, softening his features, easing the harsh lines around his mouth. He didn’t think he’d ever felt so wonderful, so calm and relaxed, so replete. Hurry back to me, Jane, he thought. I want you, darling.
He closed his eyes. Was he brave enough to tell her how much she meant to him? That without her there was only darkness and despair? That she was the sunshine and laughter in his life? That he loved her?
He was a coward. He was afraid to let her know the enormity of his feelings for her.
And then he heard the distinct sound of retching.
The earl was already out of the bed as the harsh sound came again from the water closet. Grim and concerned, he rushed forward, to find Jane on her knees, hugging the bowl, her face pale and tinged green.
“What is it?” he cried, acute panic knifing him. He knelt beside her, taking her into his arms, and she leaned against him wearily. “Jane, you’re ill!”
“It will pass, I think,” she mumbled into his chest.
He stroked her hair, then froze, as the significance of her morning illness struck him. Morning illness. He separated himself from her to stare at her, tense and hard now, sick and furious. Didn’t women become ill like this a month or so after conceiving? Not within a few days. She suddenly dove for the bowl again, retching.
He steadied her and, after she had finished, helped her rise. He watched her as she rinsed her mouth and washed her face and hands. For once he was, impossibly, immune to her naked body, so slim and slender, yet so perfectly curved. She turned to him, with an embarrassed smile, then saw his expression and froze. “Nicholas? What is it?”
He smiled, but it was only a bitter twisting of one side of his mouth. “Maybe you had better tell me”.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, anxiety in her tone. She touched his arm, he jerked away. “What is it!” she cried.
“You’re pregnant,” he said flatly, eyes cold and emotionless. “And it certainly isn’t with my child.”
Jane stared.
“Whose is it?”
“My God,” she said, touching her chest, and then she started to smile.
