“There was actually one, and he didn’t just catch my eye, he kind of stole my heart,” I tell her, feeling my eyes prickling. Just thinking about him makes me emotional.
“Oh, Jessica. I knew there was someone, don’t get me wrong, you always shine, but your light’s been dimmer ever since you came back.”
She hugs me, and I wrap my arms around her, telling her about the amazing man I met and who broke my heart. I don’t let her know that it’s Luke, the number one driver in this household. I want to protect his privacy, so I only tell her that he’s part of the F1 world.
“I’m sure if he’s the right man for you, Jessica, he will make things right again. And if he’s not, then you’ll eventually get over him and find someone even better,” She tells me, and even though I want to believe her, the thought of finding anyone else makes me feel even more hollow.
Chapter 31
LUKE
“This is starting to get ridiculous,” Sebastian tells me. We’re sitting in the lounge area of my suite in Milan.
We arrived yesterday after being away for more than a week since the last race. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy so I don’t think about Jessica, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been successful, and apparently, Sebastian agrees.
“What do you mean?” I ask him, and he’s clearly frustrated when he answers me.
“You can’t keep going around like this, you’re like a zombie, man. Seriously, why don’t you get your head out of your ass and go get your girl?”
He’s not wrong; I am like a zombie.
I wake up, eat breakfast, go to my meetings, work out, and then go back to my hotel, where Sebastian’s been trying to cheer me up all week.
He’s taken me hiking, carting, even freaking skydiving to lighten my mood, but we both know the onlything, or person rather, that’ll help is a certain brunette with killer heels.
No matter how many tactics we’ve tried, I always have her in the back of my mind, wondering what she’s doing, if she’s feeling as sad as I am.
“It’s not that simple, and you know it,” I grit out.
Believe me, I’ve been thinking about how I can get her back, every second of every day, but each time I end up with the conclusion that her dreams will be crushed because I was selfish and wanted her to myself. I care too much about her to be selfish with her.
“I get that you’re trying to be a good man and all that, but shouldn’t she also get a say in this?” he asks me, and I must admit he makes a good point.
I took the choice away from her, afraid she would throw away her career for a relationship with me.
“Don’t you think I’ve thought about that? I feel like the biggest prick, having her look at me at that gala, like I’ve ripped her world apart; it fucking broke my heart all over again. I don’t want to be responsible for ever putting that look on her face again,” I tell him, and he seems to get the point.
“Whatever, man. I’ll go out and socialize like a normal human being; you enjoy being miserable. Later.” Heleaves the hotel room, and I’m left alone for the rest of the evening.
When I’ve had enough of my own miserable thoughts, I decide to call my parents. Maybe they’ll have some good news that will cheer me up or some advice for a grown man dealing with heartache.
I call my mom while getting ready to take a walk.
“Hey Luke, how is everything in Italy?” She asks me, and I’m not surprised she knows precisely where I am. They always follow the F1 circus on television.
“Hey, Mom. It’s good, ready to fight for it this weekend.” I tell her, and since Mom’s always catching on to everything, she immediately asks me what’s wrong.
Knowing my parents were as new to this world as I was when I first started racing, they’ve experienced all the ups and downs with me.
The pressure from the fans.
The twisted stories to sell. The agents and the PR assistants with all their stunts.
And most of all, the way people treat you as soon as they know who you are.
Once again, I smile, thinking back to my first meeting with Jessica and how she stood out to me, unlike many others in this world.
“I met someone, she is a very special person to me, but I’m afraid I’ve lost her for good.” I say and feel mychest tightening.
