“If he used that on Shannon, he’s probably dead,” Rusty’s father replied. “God, I can smell that from here. Someone find a bag and tie that up inside.”
“Zip it inside my purse,” Mom said, thrusting out her gold lamé clutch.
I glared at the dirty, offensive item. It was too much. He couldn’t be dead! He simply couldn’t. Images of Shannon smiling up at me as we danced tonight, Shannon laughing as he splashed me in the pool, Shannon with his head bent over his book as we studied, all flickered through my mind like a kaleidoscope, mixed in with flashes of that other young man with dark curly hair. He was on the boat, he was surfing, he was caressing my face…that one did me in as his face and Shannons became one. I threw my head back and cried out, “Beeelllovvveddd,” my own voice eerily merged with that of Arrakus’. My grief was his and his mine, and it was a palpable, tangible thing.
“Shit, what was that?” Rusty asked.
A phone pinged and Henry’s father look startled. “Excuse me, let me just check this. In case it’s Roy,” he added.
“Well,” my dad asked while I watched them dumbly.
I felt as if I was swimming, a black hole rapidly approaching me. I idly pondered if I was about to pass out as I noticed the dark edges of the hole looked real, encircling the tableau before me right here, entirely visible to me, and seemingly only me.
“It’s my brother,” Henry’s father replied. “He says he just got the strangest text from Roy. It said, ‘sitting at the dock of the bay.’ Nothing else, just that.”
The darkness turned inside out, and I thought I smelled fear and blood. Then my vision sorted itself out, and everything appeared normal again.
“He’s at the dock,” I said. “You mentioned a project. Could he have known about it?”
“Yes, my brother was drawing up ideas for how we could regenerate the area.”
“He said he’d get us all,” Rusty’s father said. “Murdering someone there would definitely frighten off investors, maybe make the human city councilmen nervous enough to delay permissions significantly.”
I didn’t give a flying fuck why he chose the docks. I just wanted to get to them, to reach Shannon before it was too late. I refused to accept it might already be. A scream echoed in my mind and I stood up, my blood running cold. “Get me therenow.”
20
Istumbled out of the car, ignoring everyone else who spilled out after me. I could feel Arrakus, taste his angry satisfaction, his fear, and his worry. His emotions tugged at me like a beacon, though unlike those of mortal men, I couldn’t feed on them. These emotions were not like water. They were chains, anchoring me to him.
“Where is he going?” I heard Rusty call out.
“He’s following his Bond,” I heard someone shout in reply. “Arrakus is here. I can feel him, but he’s not talking to me.”
He wasn’t talking to me right now either, not in words or images, just pure emotion. I ran faster than I ever had before, rushing around the corner of the building before us. There, by the water’s edge, was a dark, lumpy shape. As I drew closer, I could see it was the crumped form of my lover, an enormous velvet bag trimmed with fake white fur in a heap beside him. I raced to him, falling to my knees, frantically checking him over. I sobbed, feeling how cold his skin was. His breathing was shallow, his pulse thready.
Rusty’s father made it to us first. “He gave him too much. Try to keep him breathing until we can get an ambulance here,” he told me.
I sobbed, my tears freely flowing down my face, dripping down onto Shannon’s and running down the side of his face. He blinked, eyes struggling to focus. “Rii-ver,” he wheezed. “Don’t… leave… me.” His eyes rolled back into his head.
“No, no, no!” I cried, frantically placing my ear over his mouth, praying to still feel breath.
“He’s still breathing, son, I can see the puffs of white in the air. It’ll be okay, the ambulance is on its way.”
“There’s no sign of Roy.” This from Henry. “They’re still looking, though.”
A feeling of satisfaction washed over me.
“I think Arrakus has him,” I whispered, unwilling to distract myself from watching the love of my life breathe.
“I don’t think he’s going to make it,” I heard Rusty’s father say softly.
A splash in the water.Brrring.Brinngggg beeelovveddd.
He knew what Rusty’s father had been brave enough to admit. Shannon was going to die here. I looked at the water. Arrakus’ form rose from the sea. This time, he looked most like a Kraken with two fin-like wings skimming the water behind him. Cthulu indeed, I thought idly.
Could I do this, though? If I did, he’d Make him, just as he had Father, so very, very long ago. He’d know the taint we all bore, have to endure it in himself.
I leaned down to kiss his lips, wishing I had been able to tell him about us, to find out what his wish would have been like I had with Michael and those before him. I saw now that I had been selfish, hiding this, never asking permission for the reveal. Now, I’d never know what his choice would have been. I lifted my lips from his in terror; no warm breath had met my own. I moved my head to his chest. I heard a slow thump. Not quite unsalvageably dead yet, then. I scooped him up and jumped into the water, determined to do yet one last selfish thing with respect to him.
