“Loved,” I confirmed coldly. “We’re done. You lost me the second you turned your back on me afterbeggingwe never keep anything from one another again. I’m sure Matthew can fill that gap for you though.”
“Matthew can… can never be you. I’m in love with you, even if you tell yourself differently, or toss me away. I-I’m so sorry, Thorne.”
“It’s too late for apologies.” Turning away from him, I left him with all I’d ever offer him again. “Let’s just hope this mission gets me killed, because meeting death would be far more bearable than being around you any longer.”
Whether it was him that collapsed or something else, I didn’t care as a loud crash sounded from behind. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry,” he wailed, his syllables crashing together. “I-I’ll protect you, Thorne, even from the shadows. B-Because I am yours, my heart is yours, and I love you.”
Pulling the double doors open, my declaration became the seal of our relationship. “But I was never yours, because protecting me? Protecting my heart? None of that was a priority in your eyes. Your priorities? Your values? They were always about impressing your dad, and for that, there is no way you ever loved me.” Stepping through the threshold, the utterance left me before I allowed the darkness to swallow me once more. “Thanks for the quick fuck last night though, at least you gave me that before ripping my heart from my chest.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
OREN
There is no way you ever loved me.
His words replayed on a broken loop.
Matthew, Liam, and Simon were wrong.
Theywere wrong, and the thing was, I knew it.
I knew this wasn’t the solution, but their votes outweighed mine. When assessing my doubts, Matt had said it was the only way to protect him, to protect everyone, and that’s all I wanted. Thorne enjoyed taking control, being the leader, but this mission would require sacrifice, and I wanted to keep him out of that role—out of my father’s line of sight.
I wanted everyone safe, happy—a chance at a life outside of these walls without my father’s looming presence. I wanted to gift it to Thorne, because I wanted a life with him. I wanted to leavewithhim wherever he desired. I wanted him.
And the way he’d looked at me? The way he’d crumbled beneath my stare as if I’d shattered every piece I’d glued together?
That tore my heart to shreds—a heart already burdened with mistakes. It was a pain unable to be extinguished through tears.
It was a constant yearning for someone who I’d ruined by my hands. They promised he’d be okay.
I knew now that he couldn’t be left alone, because I knewhim.
If left to his thoughts, he would spiral and resort to self-inflicted injuries; I would rather him release his anger on me than unfurl it on himself. I loved him, and leaving him alone was not an option.
He needed someone, and even if he had to swing his fists during my apology, I would not falter. I would not leave him to the darkness, not anymore. I’d vowed to protect him, and I’d stolen that peace from him.
When was the last time someone fought for him past the barrier he held up when falling apart? When was the last time someone had sought him out, even after he pushed them away, spewing the darkest components of his heart?
His words had pierced deep, but they were rooted in truth, rooted in the abandonment, betrayal, and lack of trust he’d dealt with his whole life. This time it was my turn to save him, to bring him out of the darkness I’d pushed him back into, but first I was headed to the one man I needed to talk to.
Swinging the door open to Matt’s room, Liam and Simon were chilling toward the back.
Curling my fingers, I gave him no warning as my fist collided with the side of his jaw, every ounce of anger and betrayalIfelt issued in that punch. “Youlied! You said he’d be okay, that he’d understand, that he… that he’d recover, but youfuckinglied to me! All of you! All of you fucking betrayed him and you made me complicit!”
There was no cap to the fury. A deep agony not only at my inability to see the mistake before it happened, but trusting myfriendsto know better.
“Oren!” Simon screamed, pushing himself up from where he sat in an attempt to grab me. “Stop!”
I shoved my elbow into his chest. “Do. Not.Fucking. Touch. Me.”
Gone was the permissive man they’d crafted me to be to allow this plan, but what did any of it matter if Thorne wasn’t at my side? Nothing, not even now, was worth it if he wasn’t beside me each step of the way.
My fist cracked against Matt’s already bruising jaw, a guttural scream echoing off the haunted walls. “You…Webroke him. We broke him!”
Simon’s arms wrapped around me, ripping me back as Matt coughed up a mouthful of blood. “Stop it! This isn’t making shit better, Oren!”
I thrashed against his hold, shoving my arms upward to release me from him. With a quick turn and a shove, I landed a hit on Simon’s shoulder, the crack of my knuckles doing nothing to ease the pain in my chest as I stepped back. “I said donottouch me,” I seethed, shaking my hand to ease its throbbing. “Youliedto me. And… And how is this going to get fixed?”
