“Not anymore,” I replied, not bothering to glance over my shoulder. “You took that title on the flight here. Congratulations on your promotion, Matthew Harveil. I resign after this mission, though I won’t have to, because it’s not something I’m planning to survive.”
“What would Oren say if he found out you planned to kill yourself?” he snapped. “Don’t you remember how devastated he was the first time?”
“Verydevastated,” Simon chimed in. “Even brought you flowers and made a cute little card. The artwork was amazing in it.”
“Artwork you told him to add.” Liam shook his head. “I don’t think it was that hard for him to draw a dick.”
“What would Oren say?” I laughed, the sound of a broken man. “He’d tell me to go through with it. To do him the favor and never come back. Because a betrayal like this? It’s an unsalvagable wound. I’m not going back to the U.S. So, if I have any advice, it’s stay the fuck away from me. I kill everything I touch, and Oren needs the three of you far more than he needs me.”
“You know that’s a fucking lie.” Simon adjusted his belt. “I stayed with him in that bathroom stall after you shattered that necklace. He was broken…beyondbroken, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t raise his spirits.Youwere the only one to bring him back, Thorne. If you eliminate yourself, nothing will bring him back. Not even the three of us.”
“You think I’m capable of saving him after what I elected to do? After the irreversible mistake, you all wasted no time reminding me of?” My fingers twitched instinctively toward my gun. “There is no saving Oren. Not after this. And my return? My survival? It’ll only taint him further.”
“Bullshit,” Matt snapped, the loudest I’d ever heard him speak to me. “That kid saved you over andover, Thorne, and you’re going to let one mistake ruin him forever? Heneedsyou. Not us.You. If you can’t see that, well fuck, maybe the kid was right when he screamed at you that you refuse to listen to him.”
“Needs me?” I shook my head, my hand closing around the pistol’s grip. “No oneneeds me. Remember? I left him with his father? Fucked him over beyond repair?”
Freeing the gun, I fired off a round at Simon, a tranquilizer dart landing in his thigh. He swayed, trying to catch the wall, but it proved useless. Without a breath of hesitation, I pivoted, catching Matt’s fist before it could meet my face. Pressing the barrel against the side of his neck, I pulled the trigger, a slew of weakening curse words leaving him as his body hit the ground with a thud of finality.
I turned to Liam, my jaw feathering. “I tried to warn you all to let me go alone. So let this be the lasting mark of my statement.Don’tfucking follow me.”
Firing the pistol, the last dart burrowed itself into his chest.
They couldn’t follow me because if they did, they’d die, and I only had one goal on this mission. It was time I met death, and I had to make sure there was no one there to stop me.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
OREN
Dad had his doubts, and I didn’t blame him. I’d defied his orders for years, and for me to all of a sudden fall into his lap and beg for his guidance?
Hell, I’d also find it weird as fuck.
Three days of training, and my muscles were beyond sore. Dad watchedeverything. Every strike. Every hit… every mistake, as I landed on my ass more times than with Thorne.
Unlike my shit of a commander, my father was an excellent teacher. He was a hard ass, but he knew how to operate. The subtle nature of his points, the sneer he’d give me or a smack to the back of my head worked better than any beatings I’d taken from Thorne because they hadpurpose.
I found purpose in the routine because the outcome would make me stronger than anyone here on base. I fully committed myself to the work he handed me.
When I wasn’t training, I was learning the basics of what it meant to be a commander. When I wasn’t learning the basics, I was observing my father’s punishments, gathering intel and methods to weaken a man.
Last night had been especially eventful; my very own squad mate who’d been left behind just like me was sent for interrogation, but it was a false decree. A fake order meant to test me again… to see if I’d crack while my father beat a man senseless.
He’d done nothing wrong, but there was no pity in my bones because for the first time, itwasn’tme. I wasn’t the one sitting in that chair as my father tortured me. I’d officially learned that defiance earned you nothing.
This was just another step.
Another step to becoming soulless like my father.
As blood splattered on my cheeks from the blubbering idiot, I gritted my teeth. Not from rage at what my father was doing, but my own ineptitude.
How had I survived for so long?
How had I sat in that chair foryears, wasting away beneath a false sense of freedom? I almost laughed, but I knew my father would’ve taken it the wrong way.
I had an image to uphold. Well, an image togrowinto.
The men on base didn’t fear me. They still viewed me as a defiant bitch, a man with a moral compass who viewed his life in terms of how he could help.
