He was so desperate to taste that smile. Instead, he forced himself to turn away and focus on his drink. Julian wasn’t ready, and Valac would rather die than make him uncomfortable. He wanted Julian to want him. If that meant waiting, so be it.
Chapter 19
Julian
Someone turnedthe club lights on and the overhead lights off, and music played from hidden speakers around the room, softer than it probably would be on a busy night. The beer was ice cold, condensation gathering on Julian’s fingertips as he turned on his stool to look out at the mostly empty club.
It was just like being on his back deck with his squad, if he squinted. Like,reallysquinted. Luke and Isaac were chatting at the end of the bar, Luke waving one hand as he explained something. Storm and Shadrach were at the other end of the bar, sharing an ashtray. Alex, Ira, and Talon were sitting at a booth together, their faces lit by the dim light of a red lamp in the middle of the table. Alex had a pink drink in his hand, complete with a couple of cherries, and Ira had a glass of wine.
Beside him, Valac’s presence was a steady comfort. The longer they sat there, the more he wanted to lean in, line their bodies up. Why did it feel so hard to keep his distance?
He straightened, realizing he’d been leaning toward Valacagain. The Sentinels were all here. If he wanted to ask someone for advice about what was happening between him and the behemoth, these were the people to go to.
He lurched off the stool. “I’ll be right back.”
Valac nodded, and his gaze was heavy on Julian’s back as he crossed the room toward Alex, Talon, and Ira. The latter noticed him coming and slid over to make room for him.
“Hey, Jules,” Alex said when he sat down.
“Hi. I need advice.”
Talon opened his mouth—and blew out a breath when Alex jabbed him in the ribs.
“Tell us,” Alex said. To Talon, he added, “Be nice and I’ll thank you for it later.”
Talon smirked, and there was no mistaking the molten heat of his gaze.
“Yeah, advice about that,” Julian said, gesturing between the two of them. “About… y’know. About being with a—” He jerked his head toward Valac, who was still watching him, and lifted his drink to his lips. His mouth was desert-dry.
Talon followed his gaze, fighting a smile, and said, “I suggest you invest in some good anal plugs.”
Julian choked on his beer, which spilled down his chin and all over the polished tabletop. “Wh-What?”
“Well, look at him,” Talon said, casting Valac an appraising look. “If he’s justproportional, you’re still in for a wild ride.”
“Oh my God,” Julian muttered. He didn’t dare mention that Shadrach had already bought them some.
Alex sputtered out a hysterical laugh and shoved Talon out of the booth. “Go on, get out of here! That’s not the kind of advice he came here for! No favors for you later. You owemeone now.”
Talon rocked his eyebrows at Alex and then wandered away. Toward Valac, which would probably go about as well as things had gone here in the booth.
“What’s he going to say to him? Should I stop him?” Julian asked.
“No, you should ask what you wanted to ask us,” Ira said. “Also, he might not be wrong about the proportionality thing. Nothing about Valac is going to be small.”
Julian wanted to sink through the booth anddie.
“Okay, okay,” Alex said. “No more about that. I didn’t know a human face could turn that red.”
They both waited for Julian to find his voice again. “I-I just don’t know if this is the right thing, you know?”
“The right thing?” Ira prompted.
“Yeah.” Julian picked at the label on his bottle. “I feel sodrawnto him. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. And that scares me a lot. If the last few days have shown me anything, it’s that nothing is permanent. Everything I had has been taken away. All I have left is him. What if I screw that up and lose him, too? What if the paladins come for us and hurt him? What if this isn’t actually the right thing? He doesn’t seem like a demon, not really. He’s not evil.”
Alex and Ira exchanged a knowing look, and Ira said, “Julian, the truth is we’ve all had the same worries. We all worried whether giving in to the temptation of being with a demon was the right thing. We worried about what would happen to our souls if we did. But for each of us, being with our partners was the right choice forus. No, they’re not evil. They aren’t as bad as we were taught to believe. And for the record, we all drink their blood. It doesn’t have anything to do with where our souls will go when we die.”
“Right, yeah, he mentioned that. Does it really stop you from aging?”
