Too overwhelming.
Julian jerked away, his face aflame. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I just—I need—” He stopped, grabbing the first clothes he saw and staggering to his feet. “I’m sorry. This is all just happening a little fast. I’m going to shower. I’ll—be back.”
He rushed away without meeting Valac’s eyes, too afraid of what he’d see there. Whether it was disappointment or anger or even a hint of frustration, he’d crumble. Valac was all he had left. If he screwed this up, too, he would truly be alone.
Locked in the bathroom, he avoided his own reflection and went to the shower. It was a simple, dual shower/bath system set into the wall. The toilet still had a sticker on the lid. No one had ever lived here before. Maybe he was the first one to even try out this shower.
He turned the water on and undressed mechanically, standing on the cool tile floor until the water was warm enough.
Under the shower spray, he sighed loudly, ducking his head to let the water cascade through his hair. Kissing Valac was a religious experience, and it scared the shit out of him. It was one thing to have it in his dreams, where there was still a sense of distance between them. Being with Valac in reality felt toobig. Too life-changing. Too dangerous. He knew himself well enough to recognize that his feelings for Valac were extreme. He’d been drawn to him the moment they met, and seeing him only in dreams was safer thanthis, because if he wasn’t careful, he could lose himself in his attraction to the demon. And then where would that leave him? What would happen if he gave that kind of power to a demon?
Valac said to trust him, and Julian did. He trusted him with his life. He just wasn’t sure he could trust him with his heart.
He pointedly ignored his half-hard cock as he thoroughly washed the blood and grime from his weary body. Every time his mind wandered back to their kiss, it threatened to rise to full mast. Apparently his body didn’t get the memo that he was uncertain about all of this. It was wholeheartedly ready for him to throw himself at the big, muscular demon.
When he got out of the shower and toweled off, he balked at the realization that he’d grabbed one of the skimpy black jockstraps. He didn’t really want to go out there in a towel or commando to grab something else—not when he was still doing his best to ignore the low-burning need that coursed through him—so he sighed and slipped it on. It was better than nothing. He followed it with the sleeveless athletic shirt and black joggers he’d managed to grab.
In the living room, he found Valac pulling a short-sleeved shirt over his head. He didn’t seem bothered by Julian’s awkward retreat, and Julian relaxed. They could address the elephant in the room eventually, but like the expensive electronics hidden under Valac’s pile of clothes, it could wait.
Chapter 18
Valac
Valac wasuncertain about modern clothing. He stripped out of his shendyt while Julian was in the shower and pulled on something called boxer briefs, followed by jeans and a V-neck shirt with short sleeves. The clothing was far more restrictive than he was used to. Where was the appeal? The shirt hugged his body, stretched taut around his shoulders and upper arms. The jeans prevented him from lunging very far and squatting as deeply as he could. What sense did these clothes make during a battle?
Julian emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, rosy-cheeked and damp, his fresh scent heightened by the soaps and shampoos he’d used. He froze just outside the doorway, eyes trailing down Valac’s body and back up. There was heat in his gaze as he drank in the sight of Valac in these strange modern clothes, and Valac’s body responded to his attention, shoulders straightening and cock thickening behind his uncomfortable zipper.
Maybe these clothes weren’t so bad after all.
“What do you think?” he asked, spreading his arms for further perusal.
Julian gulped. “You, uh—wow. You can really fill out a T-shirt, y’know?”
Valac wanted to pick him up and press him against the wall. He refrained—barely. “Is that a good thing?” he teased.
Julian nodded fervently.
“I must admit,” he said, plucking at the bottom hem of the shirt, “it feels strange. Too tight.”
“It’s definitely tight,” Julian said, sounding strangled. “But in a good way. Wow. What size is that shirt?”
“I don’t know.” He picked up the pack it had come in and read the label. “Something called XXL.”
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Julian breathed.
“Is that bad?” It seemed like the opposite, given the way Julian was staring at him.
“No, no,” Julian said quickly. “It’s—three sizes bigger than whatIwear, and I’m thinking they should maybe have gone up one more size. Maybe two. But it’s not a bad thing. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable. Do you?”
Valac shrugged. “I suppose. And you? Do your new things fit okay?”
Pink crept up Julian’s neck and face. “Yes, everything fits fine.”
Valac stepped closer, wondering what he said that made Julian blush like that, but before he made it more than a single step, Julian flitted away.
“I’m going to—start putting away all these new clothes. Lots to do.” Julian disappeared through the bedroom doorway, leaving Valac staring after him with uncertainty.
He spent the rest of the day in agony.
