He was taught to hate demons. And yet it was a demon who was protecting him, who was keeping him company, who was holding him when he cried and showing up when he neededhelp. Why should he make himself miserable by pushing this kindness away for the sake of keeping a promise he made to people who were actively trying to harm him? He didn’t want to keep pushing Valac away. It felt so right to be with him.
But what did it mean to belong to a demon? Did he have no say in the matter?
“What does it mean to be yours?”
Valac tilted his head, leaning in to brush his mouth back and forth against Julian’s hair. “The humans could probably explain it better than me.”
“The humans,” Julian repeated. “The Sentinels, you mean?”
“Yes. I believe it’s the same situation for them.”
Julian heated. “Oh.” That was an explanation itself.
“It means I want you in every way. I’ll do whatever I can to protect you and make you happy.”
“What if I say no? What if I don’t want that?”
A rumbling growl left Valac, and he raised his head to scowl down at Julian. It looked more like a pout than anything.
He chuckled. “I mean, I’m not saying no. I’m just asking. I want to know all the angles here.”
“You could deny me. I can’t force you to want me. Trying to force you to do something you don’t want would make you hate me, and that’s the last thing I want.”
The thought of pushing Valac away filled Julian with despair in a way his most dramatic teenage breakup never had. He’d been miserable for so long. The only moments of relief were when he was with Valac, and he was tired of fighting it. “I don’t want to deny you,” he blurted. “I just want to know what I’m getting into.”
Valac licked his cheek, and Julian sputtered out a laugh. “You can have whatever you want, little jewel. Right now, what you need most is sleep. Wake in the morning and put those wards on your doors and windows. It requires blood, so use asterilized blade. Not a finger or the palm of your hand; those areas are too sensitive. Your forearm, but shallow. I am almost to Astaroth, and I intend to inform him that I will be returning to the surface posthaste after I deliver my report. I will be with you as soon as possible. Until then, we will see each other here.” He pressed a kiss to Julian’s temple.
His eyes slipped closed. “Okay. Thank you for everything, Valac. Will you… Will you stay with me until I wake up?”
“Of course, my jewel.”
Wakingup alone was one of the worst things he’d felt in a long time. One minute he’d been squeezed up against Valac on the sofa, drifting lazily with the demon’s strong arms around him, and then he was alone once again. His heart ached. He was so tired of being alone.
With a sigh, Julian sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face, wincing at the pain in his hip from sleeping on his bedroom floor all night.
There had been no attacks on his house last night, as far as he was aware. He’d slept through the night uninterrupted. It was a small reprieve from the usual.
The sun was shining cheerfully when he opened the blinds, knuckling the sleep from one eye. Nothing about his front yard looked any different, and a warm kernel of hope took root within him. If what Valac said was true, Talon and Alex were outside his house last night, keeping an eye on him. The thought filled him with quivering gratitude. He had expected no kindness after he left the guild, and he’d been determined to make it on his own. The Sentinels were good people, and now more than ever, he knew he’d made the right choice in walking away from the guild.They owed him nothing—less than nothing, really, given the part he played before he finally left the guild—and yet they put themselves in harm’s way for him. He wasn’t sure he deserved it, and he definitely knew he could never repay them for this.
Downstairs, he got the coffeemaker going and then stepped outside to check his mailbox. A glance up and down the street revealed nothing out of order, and the midmorning sun warmed his skin as he peered in the mailbox.
There it was, a folded piece of copy paper waiting for him. No stamp, no envelope. It was delivered by hand in the dead of night.
He perused it in the kitchen after he poured his first cup of coffee. The script was slanted to the right—small, precise letters that spelled out exactly how to carve the wards into the frame above each window and door, then traced with his blood while he spoke the incantation. They would last as long as the wood they were carved on. It was a far cry better than water painted on glass.
He drank his coffee first, marinating in the feeling of relief that permeated through him. It felt almost like lowering himself into a hot tub, that first burst of heat melting the tension from his body. His home would be safe again, and he owed it all to the demons Sloan swore were evil.
After he finished his coffee, he retrieved a rarely used pocket knife from his bedroom, doused the blade in alcohol, and got to work. Like Valac suggested, he made a shallow cut across his upper forearm, near the bend of his elbow, and used a dab of blood to trace each warding symbol. He did the upstairs as well, just to be on the safe side.
When he was done, he flopped down on the sofa and smiled to himself. No one was physically there, but he felt less alone now than he had in months.
He thought about Valac as he got ready for his next shift at the restaurant. In his dream, they’d laid together for hours. Valac’s interest had pressed like a steel rod against his hip, but neither of them had made a move for more. Julian couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so safe. Valac’s presence was like a balm to a wound, relieving all the quiet aches he’d shouldered since he left the guild. The loneliness and misery were completely assuaged when Valac was near, and Julian was too weak to resist anymore. Valac wasgood, somehow, and being with himfeltgood. He couldn’t explain it, but he had a feeling he understood exactly why the Sentinels had chosen their demons over the guild, now.
As he stepped into the shower, he wondered what it would be like to have actual, real sex with Valac, outside of a dream. Would Valac grip him tightly or coax him gently toward his orgasm? Would their bodies move with slow, sinuous grace or frantic, hungry urgency? He thought of the way Valac’s big body had pressed him down into the sofa. He was animal instinct wrapped in a human-shaped body, Julian thought. Human only in appearance. There would be a hungry, possessive side to him. He said he wanted Julian to be happy, buthewanted to be the one to make him so. What would it feel like to surrender all control and let Valac take over, guiding his body to the absolute peak of pleasure?
Valac could crush him like a bug if he wanted, and that was without even using those special powers of his. It would feel liberating to let go of his daily anxieties and let Valac carry it all for a while, to stop thinking and just feel.
Under the hot spray of the shower head, Julian’s cock twitched. He soaped himself absentmindedly, imagining it was Valac’s slippery hands roaming his skin. One hand wrapped around the other wrist. Valac would be able to hold him down so easily. He tipped his head back, hot water sluicing down his bodyas he took his length in hand and pumped, panting in the steamy air. His other hand wandered back, slipping between his cheeks and pressing against his hole. Valac was a foot taller than him. Was he… proportional? Would Julian even be able to take him? God, he wanted to find out. He wanted it more than anything.
