“I am immortal,” Valac said blankly.
“Yeah, he didn’t mean—” Talon stopped, shaking his head. “What exactly are you wanting to know? They’ve been around for a long time. They like to kill demons and boss their people around.” He shrugged. “They’re pains in the ass, really.”
“It—bothers me that they are hurting their members.” He couldn’t articulate why, and he knew they would ask.
“That’s what they do,” Isaac said, folding his arms stiffly.
“The real question is, why do you care?” Talon said. “It has nothing to do with Lilith’s death. I thought that was your mission here.”
Valac wasn’t sure how much to share. Would they dislike that he’d followed Julian to his home and eavesdropped on his conversations? They didn’t like Julian, and he couldn’t put into words why he felt so drawn to the man. Perhaps it was better to keep things vague.
“The possessors attacked this guild, correct? At Lilith’s behest.”
“Well, hers and a kalmach’s, technically,” Malachi said, tucking a glossy black lock of hair behind his ear. “Does that matter? I mean, what the guild does to their people is way out of our hands.”
Valac shifted anxiously. They were right; Valac shouldn’t care. It unnerved him that he did. “Why do they do this? Why do people pledge themselves to their cause if they harm their people?”
Nathan opened his mouth, but Talon beat him to it.
“Come on, Valac,” Talon drawled. “I know you’ve been in Hell for a long time, but this isn’t a new thing with humans. There have been countless groups over the years that have behaved like this. Cults have always punished anyone who tries to get out. Using tactics like fear and manipulation to get what they want has always been a method humans use against each other. Hell, we’ve used it over the years, too, when there was something we wanted.”
Beside Isaac, Shadrach nodded sagely.
“You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves,” Talon went on. “Like that guy that was here last night, Julian. He was raised by that guild, same as the rest of these guys here. The difference is that the people in this room saw through what was happening and got out. Julian’s still marching to their drum. Maybe he’ll wisen up and get out, maybe not. But it’s not our responsibility to save them from themselves. In fact, most of them want us dead. If we tried to help them, they would probably try to kill us for our efforts.”
Valac scowled. “You just said they punish anyone who tries to leave.” One of Julian’s friends had said something similar. “How is it possible for them to leave on their own, then?”
Talon shrugged. “It’s hard. They have to learn to think for themselves first. All of the humans here have done it, so it’s not impossible.”
Alex patted Talon’s arm. “We all had various things happen in our lives that led us to where we are. None of us just woke up one day and realized we wanted something different. In our cases, we met our demons. For me, Talon was there for me when no one else was. I think the only exception here might be Ira.” He smiled over at the other human, who ducked his head sheepishly.
“Why?” Valac asked.
“Ira’s a prophet,” Alex said. “He knew he and Wolf would wind up together before Wolf did.”
Valac blinked over at Ira. Prophets had been around for all of time. Gifted with visions of the future, they knew things others didn’t.
“It’s more complicated than that, I think,” Ira said, tugging at his earlobe. “But basically, yes.” He met Valac’s eyes, sobering. “Julian’s a good man. He might even be better than all of us. Maybe hewillwake up one day and realize he wants something different.”
Talon scoffed—then frowned. “Wait.”
Ira smiled. To Valac, he added, “That’s not to say he’ll have it easy. Like Talon said, they don’t let people leave without consequence. It would be…nicefor him to have someone in his corner, don’t you think?”
Valac tilted his head in consideration. The prophet knew he felt drawn to Julian, and he was telling him to let it happen. He needed to return to Hell with his report, but perhaps there was a way for him to keep an eye on Julian even from a distance. Humans’ minds were pliable when they were unconscious. There was a chance he could access Julian’s mind while he slept,even from Hell. He’d never tried it before, because he’d never wanted access to a human’s mind, but it was worth a try.
Chapter 5
Julian
Once he conceivedof the idea of leaving the guild, Julian couldn’t stop thinking about it. He went through the motions for weeks following that evening with Nicolas and Daniel, debating with himself every waking moment.
While he sat outside the skating rink, he thought about what else he’d rather be doing. Anything would be better than this. For their part, the Sentinels didn’t seem to mind having him there. He was surprised they continued to patrol while knowing they were being watched. Hell, Isaac usually waved at him. Julian didn’t know if they behaved that way for the others, but they at least didn’t mindhimbeing there. It didn’t stop him from feeling ashamed of his cowardly obedience, though. If he were a stronger man, wouldn’t he take a stand and refuse to do this?
When he was in the training yard with his squad, he considered what it would be like to work somewhere else. He’d never wanted to be anything other than a paladin, but was that just because he’d never been given an option? What else might he have done with his life if he hadn’t been adopted into the guild? He liked to cook. Maybe he could have been a chef in another life. Or run a bakery or sandwich shop.
When he laid his head down at night, he was overcome with grief for the way things used to be. He was happy once, but he didn’t think that short time of his life would ever return.
Most of all, he missed being proud of his work. There was no pride in spying on the traitors. There was no courage in keeping his head down to avoid the hammer.
