“Tell me what you need, sunshine, and I’ll do it. I—”fuck,“I want this too.”
“Really?” Jesse breathes out, and I’m not gonna lie and say my heart doesn’t totally skip a beat when his arms pull tight around my waist and his forehead drops down to press againstmine.
His expression goes all soft and hopeful, and there’s a part of me that knows I should be looking anywhere except at those eyes of his to get away from whatever it is they’re stirring up in my chest, only it’s like they’ve got me trapped in some sort of Jesse-spell and I can’t do a damn thing to get away. Fuck, I don’t even know if I want to.
“Really.”
With a shaky, long sigh that sounds like relief, he lifts his head just the teeniest bit to press a kiss to the corner of my lips. Just a quick, soft little kiss, but my heart fuckingmelts.
‘Cause how could it not?
Then it dawns on me though. “Do you want me to go back to my place? You know, give you some space?”
It’s not as cold as last night.
“Or I could sleep in your chair?” Because even though it’s notascold, it’s still fucking freezing out.
He shakes his head against mine, then pulls away, just a teeny bit. “Not unless you want to?”
It’s totally a question, just like the small smile he flashes me. There’s no way to miss how his breath caught though, or the way his hands tightened around my back when he asked it.
“Nah.” I toss him a smirk that I hope covers for the sappy-ass beaming smile I’m just barely holding back. I really do hate being cold… “Last night was pretty comfy. I could go for another one like it.” A kiss on his cheek, slow and lingering. ‘Cause, you know, he looks like he needs it. “You make a good pillow, sunshine.”
Sunset pink burns beneath my lips, and I can feel the lift of his grin.
What the fuck am I getting myself into?
Slow, or evenslowerisn’t something I’ve done before. Not with the physical stuff. The rest? Like anything that isn’t physical? Totally nonexistent.
None of the guys I’ve messed around with have wanted anything from me beyond a quick fuck—my throat, my ass, whatever. It’s not like I was after anything else with them either, so I guess all physical was kinda the point.
And Josh…fuck him.
Josh just wanted that plus ownership. To have me ready and waiting for whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. Sex. His very own punching bag...usuallynot literally at least. Sometimes arm candy. Except I always knew I was in for it if he caught anyone looking at me too long. Whenever that happened, it was always my fault…
Butfuck.That.
I’m not thinking about him right now. I’m not thinking about how, besides that shit with him, I’ve always sworn to myself that I’d never get mixed up in anything that wasn’t clean cut and over in a night.
Except now this thing with Jesse? So very not clean cut. So very not over in a night that it’s not even funny.
And then ‘cause he’s Jesse and maybe somehow he can legitimately read my mind— “You said you don’t usually date,” he breathes into my hair as he settles his cheek against the top of my head. “So maybe this could be our chance? My chance. To show you how it can be? If you’ll let me, I want to date you, Tris. Let me make this good for you.”
Oh, sunshine. Oh fuck—
Thisis when I should run.
Thisis that moment when I should be turning and running and getting as far the fuck away from all this as I possiblycan. Squelching out that stupid-ass crush I’ve gone and let get totally out of control.
But—
“Yeah, sunshine. I’d like that.”
The words are all choked up, and somewhere along the line, my face ended up all smushed against Jesse’s neck, but I swear I can still feel his answering smile.
Is that even a thing? Can youfeelsomeone smile just from their body?
Maybe not, but I just did.
