Whether he is doesn’t matter one bit.
He was afraid. He didn’t have to actually say the words for me to know. And even if nothing else comes of this, he has to know that I will always take him seriously. That, opposite of it being some imposition, being able to be there for him is all I want.
My leg is killing me by the time I get to the base of his stairs, but that doesn’t stop me from taking them two at a time up to his door.
“Tris?”
I don’t want to just knock. I want him to know it’s me so he doesn’t go through even a split second of worrying it could be anyone else.
No answer. Just a strange, shuffling sort of sound that makes that lead weight in my stomach lurch and twist.
My hand is on the doorknob, rattling it before I can think, but of course it’s locked.
“Tris? Are you okay? It’s me.”
And then, through the door, I hear him. “I said let fucking go!”
On a tidal wave of adrenaline and panic and rage, I slam my body against the door.
Fuck, it doesn’t even budge.
Isn’t that supposed to work? At least do something? Or are you supposed to kick it down?
“Jesse?” The sound of Tris’s voice cuts through my racing thoughts. Strained sounding. Shaky. Not right.
My pulse spikes with a fresh surge of adrenaline, and I don’t even think. Just throw myself at the door again.
There’s a split second before my shoulder collides when I realize it’s already opening. It’s too late to stop before, hard and fast, the door slams back, cracking into the forehead of the strange man I’m suddenly face to face with.
“The fuck?” he slurs, staggering to the side, one of his hands flying up to clutch at the spot where a bruise is already spreading under his skin.
“What did you do to him?” My fists close around the collar of the man’s shirt, holding him up as he sways on his feet. Fucking Christ, it’s all I can do not to slam him back against the doorframe as I drag him out onto the landing.
His eyes swim in and out of focus as he gapes at me, blinking in a dazed sort of way.
There’s no question in my mind that this bastard that I just heard Tris half-beg, half-order to let him go could be anyone but fucking Josh. The thought of his hands on Tris, of what he might have been doing, has me losing my grip on sanity as Itighten my grasp on his collar and give him a vicious shake.
“Sunshine.”
Tris—
My heart is in my throat as I whip my head around to see him standing in the doorway. His hair is a mess and his eyes are huge, bigger than I’ve ever seen them. Across the left side of his face, a livid red mark stands out shockingly against his too-pale skin.
“Don’t you ever,” I turn on Josh again with another shake, “come near him again.” One last shake and I let go, shoving him away from me,away from Tris, hard enough that he trips and has to catch himself on the railing to keep from toppling down the stairs.
I don’t have another thought to spare for him as he stumbles his way down to the alley below. All that matters is— “Tris—”
He’s still standing in the doorway, chest moving visibly with his ragged, erratic breaths. I only just stop myself from launching forward and dragging him into my arms, suddenly uncertain what I should do.
If he’s hurt, afraid—
The next moment though, he collides with me, almost knocking me backward before he’s reaching up, twining his hands behind my neck, stroking his thumbs over my skin. “You’re here.”
He buries his face against my shoulder, and something in my chest splits open, raw and throbbing. Because Iwasn’t. Not when he needed me, and, try as I might, I can’t make myself stop replaying over and over again in my mind all the horrible scenarios of how differently tonight could have ended. Of what could already have happened…
“I’m here.” I wrap my arms around him, squeezing my eyesshut against the tight ache in my throat as I press my cheek against the silky softness of his hair.
For long seconds, I just hold him, breathing in the sweet, familiar smell of vanilla and peaches and mint as I struggle against the sting of tears prickling the corners of my eyes and the choking sob threatening to claw its way out of my chest.
