I had to bite my lip to keep from grinning again.“Then you don’t want me to be yours?”
“No.Yes!”He stood, pacing away, his shoulders slumped.“I don’t… If I care about something, it can be used against me.”
“That’s no way to live.”I approached him slowly, laying my hand on his back.At first he stiffened, then he leaned into my touch before turning around to face me.
“I know I’m not…” He looked off, color tinging his cheeks.“Normal.I’ve spent more of my life in prison than I have out.”He knelt slowly in front of me, reaching out to take my hand in his.It was like he was proposing or something.And I kind of got the feeling he was, in his own way.He likely didn’t think of it as proposing marriage, but I could see when I looked at him he intended to keep me.In whatever way he could.
My brain told me I needed to get as far away from the psycho ex-con biker who’d fixated on me.But I knew better.This man might be many things and certainly capable of violence, but I didn’t believe for an instant he’d hurt me.First, I trusted my brother with my life.Second, Knight trusted Jag or he wouldn’t ever get close to me.
“But I swear on my life, Ada,” he continued, “I will never betray you, and I will always keep you safe.”
“I don’t think bad of you, Jag.I also happen to believe you mean everything you say.”
“But?”He looked almost resigned.This man was such a conundrum!
“But nothing.”
“You don’t want me like that.”He made it a statement, his emotions shuttering.
I grinned.“Didn’t say that.I invited you inside my apartment.I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t expected things to go further.The only thing I want you to keep in mind is I’ve lived a different life than you have.”I knelt in front of him moving close to him until he sat down on his ass and pulled me to straddle his hips.“So you’re gonna have to let me catch up.Because I’m not used to moving as fast as you are, and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”I was as honest as I could be.At least, I was as honest as I could be with myself.I felt the same fucking pull to him he obviously did to me.
“I will guard your heart fearlessly, Ada.Ain’t nearly good enough for you but I’m askin’ for a chance to prove I can be what you need.I will find a way to support us outside the club if you want me to, but the old ladies seem happy here.Maybe we could stay here until I can find a job?”The longer he talked, the more unsure he became, but Goddamn, the man wanted this so bad I could see it.“I don’t know why, but it has to be you.”By the time he was done, I could see Jag had resigned himself to not being with me and he looked so dejected my heart went out to the guy.Not out of pity.But because he was trying so hard, wanted to have a chance to prove he could be what I needed in a man.The fact was, I believed him.
“We’ll worry about why you want me later.For now, we’ll get to know each other and see where this leads.Can we start there?”
He slid his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him.“So long as we start.”
“I’m right here,” I whispered.“Ready and willing.Take what you want from me, Jag.We can discuss what comes next after.”
Lightning flashed again, and in that frozen moment of illumination, I saw his control shatter.His expression broke open.Need and fear and something deeper wrestled across his features.Never in my life had a man looked at me the way Jag looked at me now.Darkness swallowed us again, but not before I’d seen everything I needed to.For whatever reason, I had imprinted on Jag.Not in a creepy, stalker kind of way.Like a lost-puppy-who’d-found-his-home kind of way.
This man needed something he saw inside me.Funny Goddamned thing about it was, I wanted to give him whatever he needed.Not because he was broken.Because he’d put himself back together.Maybe not completely, and maybe not even with good construction.But he was trying so hard.All he needed was a little help, and the man would thrive.I found the idea of being his muse kind of sweet.I also wanted to see what Jag was like when he was confident in who he was and his place in life.I also knew that meant we would be staying here.
He released my hand and brushed my face with his rough fingertips against my cheek.He hesitated one last moment before pulling me more fully against him with a desperate, surrendering groan.
His lips found mine in the darkness, hungry and urgent.His kiss tasted like mint and beer and something distinctly him.Raw and unfiltered.I leaned into it, gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
What started tentative exploded into something primal.His hands were everywhere, sliding under my shirt, spanning my waist, gripping my hips.I rubbed my fingers over the hair at the nape of his neck as he explored.I knew he was holding back but needed him to go at his own pace.It amazed me how much I trusted this man, but I’d seen in his eyes earlier.Above all, he wanted to protect me, to keep me safe.This first time might not be mind-blowing for me, though with the way he kissed I knew this would be a very good experience indeed.He would absolutely ensure my pleasure, if for no other reason than to make sure I wanted to stay with him.Each touch built something electric between us, racing alongside the storm outside.It didn’t take long to realize I might have underestimated the man’s skill.I wasn’t a virgin by any means, though I hadn’t had many lovers.No one in my life, though, could have prepared me for a man like Jag when he was intent on a woman.
I pulled at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against mine.He broke the kiss long enough to yank it over his head.Lightning flashed, giving me glimpses of what my fingers were discovering.A landscape of ink and scars mapped across his torso and arms tempted me with what I couldn’t see.
“Christ,” he muttered against my neck as my shirt joined his on the floor.His hands skimmed up my sides, leaving goose bumps in their wake.“I should… stop --”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I breathed, pulling him back to kiss me again.
He shifted me in his grip so he could stand, lifting me like I weighed nothing.Once on his feet, he urged me to wrap my legs around his waist as he made three steps before stopping abruptly.
He groaned.“I don’t…” He cleared his throat and shook his head slightly.
“What is it?”I put my hand on his face, stroking his beard, trying to comfort him.
“Bedroom.”It was more a demand than a request for directions and I nearly smiled.“Ain’t takin’ you the first time on the fuckin’ couch, Ada.Knight would kill me and I wouldn’t blame him.”
I did chuckle at that.“Don’t worry about Knight.He’s gruff and protective of me, but he would never do anything to hurt me, and that means he can’t hurt you.”
“Ain’t sayin’ I’ll never bend you over the couch, but not now.”His lips actually twitched, and my heart soared.If he could joke, he was growing more comfortable with me.Maybe even more comfortable with himself.“Just not this time.”His expression grew serious.“I want to do this right, Ada.”
That was it.I was fucking done.He wanted to do this right.How was I supposed to resist him?And fuck that anyway.Jag was mine.Only mine.And I was pretty Goddamned sure I was his, too.
