The dachshunds whined at being forgotten, but they waddled their way straight back under the table to take another very important sleep. They snoozed a lot, and I didn’t mind. Their company was more soothing than I cared to admit.
Lor’s mouth popped open, then closed again. He shifted his weight between his feet.
“There’s nothing you can do to stop this, Lor.” Conall reached out to touch Lor’s wrist in comfort, his face pulled in sympathy.“What he did needs to be punished in the most painful way. But we wanted to give you the chance to say what you need to.”
Lor’s stare caught on Conall. I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind. I trusted him, but there were a lot of things he didn’t know. Being my nephew was one of those facts. As far as he knew, Lorcan was the only family he had left. “Where is he?”
Conall glanced at me to answer.
“Buried. You don’t need to know where. It’s better if you don’t.” I cleared my throat. “I’ve let your father get away with a lot. He was barely a Company man but was paid well. He was never here, and I liked it that way. He was only a general because my father asked me for the favor on his deathbed. But now he’s gone too far. Instead of enjoying what other men would never get, he tried to kill my pet and nephew and take my business from me. That is unacceptable.”
Lor winced but nodded. “I know.”
“What’s worse is that when I gave him a choice to have it be you who took his place, he agreed. He would rather you down there than him.”
Lor stiffened and a pained expression swept over his features. I’d thought about not telling him the truth, but all men eventually needed to know their family, even if it hurt. Lorcan had never been a good father, but this information only solidified that. Blood wasn’t everything.
Conall rose off my lap, much to my annoyance, and laid his hands on Lor’s shoulders. He gave him a sad smile. “This is the last time you’ll talk to him. Tell him how you feel. My biggest regret in my life was never telling my father how much I hated him. He was killed before I could. This is your chance, Lor. This man was barely an acquaintance to you, let alone a father.”
Lor straightened and I didn’t miss the wetness in his eyes. He nodded again, though. “How do I talk to him? Can he hear me?”
“No. You need to press the button on the side of the radio.” Conall gently pushed him toward the table. “Say what you’ve always wanted to.”
Lor visibly swallowed and reached for his hair, pausing as though he was surprised when he was met by short strands. Had he forgotten he’d shaved it all off? He shuffled forward and reached out shakily for the radio, and once he had it in his hand, he glanced at me.
I nodded, giving him both my permission and encouragement. Lor might be Lorcan’s son, but they were two different types of men and it was Lor I wanted in my company.
Lor took a deep breath as Conall came back to sit on my lap. He hit the button to speak. “Dad?”
There was a choked sob, then through a shaky voice, Lorcan responded. “Lor? Fuck. What—what are you doing here?”
Lor’s bottom lip trembled. “Did you really try to kill Conall and Fionn?” He gained some confidence and straightened his shoulders. “How could you be so stupid? You had everything.”
“You—you don’t understand. We deserved more.” Lorcan gasped, his words catching in his throat. “Please. Lor, help me. I need water. Air. Tell them to get me out of here. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
Lor closed his eyes, his hold on the radio tightening until his knuckles turned white.
Conall leaned into me, and I wrapped my arms around him, inhaling his natural scent. If Lorcan had succeeded, Conall would be dead. There was no coming back from what he’d done. He was lucky I didn’t choose to skin him alive. But this slow death was even better. Listening to him suffer sent aftershocks of pleasure through me.
“You fucked up, Dad. You made a huge mistake.” Lor’s nostrils flared as he breathed angrily. “Sloan and Conall have been good to you.Good to me. Don’t you care?”
Lorcan grunted and athumpsounded through the radio, like he’d punched the wooden box he was in. “Let me out. Now. Help me. I’m your father.”
“Did you agree to have me take your place instead?” Lor hissed, his hand shaking harder. “Would you have me die so you could live? What kind of father would do that to their son?”
Lorcan laughed airily, then gasped to breathe again. “They want you to turn against me. That’s what Sloan’s always wanted. He tears sons from their fathers. He hasn’t told you the truth?—”
I went to intervene, but I didn’t need to because Lor cut him off.
“Stop with the bullshit, Dad.” He was yelling, rage flooding every word he spat at Lorcan. “You keep blaming other people but you’re the problem. You never take responsibility. You’ve always been selfish. You didn’t even care when Mom—” He cut himself off, a wretched sob ripping from his throat. Conall went to move, but I held him tighter. Lor needed this. He straightened and pressed the radio to his mouth, his voice turning deadly. “I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. All I ever wanted was a family, but you abandoned me again and again and again. I fucking hate you.”
He didn’t wait for an answer. He passed the radio to Conall, nodded in thanks, and stalked off toward the house. Whiskey and Guinness raced after him, barking, like they knew he needed them right now. We let them. Conall and I watched Lor go, and when I tilted my head, Ronan followed him as well. We needed someone other than puppies to keep an eye on him.
Lorcan begged and screamed out Lor’s name, but we ignored him. Instead, I leaned over and switched off the radio. His end would surely be soon. We could always tune back in if we were so compelled. But his last breaths were of no importance to me.
“Did we do the right thing?” Conall leaned into me, and I pressed a kiss to his temple. He folded his legs up so he wascurled against me, and I relished having him against me. Since I’d gotten back from the hospital, I hated him being out of sight. I was out of jail, he was no longer angry at me, and the threat was gone—for now. Ineededto have him in every way I could. Rikers had been hell by itself, but everything else on top? I’d been ready to lose my mind.
“You were right. He needed to have his say before his father died.”
