14
SLOAN
The spinal tap was one of the worst things I’d ever witnessed. Not because of the large needle that doctors stuck into Conall’s spine, but because they were doing it to my pet. A protest sat heavy on my tongue, but I shoved it down. If Goodheart said this needed to be done, then I trusted him. At least Conall was sedated. It was only me who witnessed it.
Once they were done and rushed the results to determine hedidhave fungal meningitis, they started him on IV antifungals.
Then, all I could do was wait. I paced the floor of the VIP room, fingers twitchy and teeth clenched for half an hour.
I texted on my phone, giving out orders to Daire and our men for another hour.
At one point, I’d tried to turn on the TV, but nothing on the screen held my attention.
And finally, I found myself in a chair at Conall’s side, my fingers threaded in his. I hadn’t spent nearly a month in jail only to lose him. I wouldn’t allow it.
I tightened my hold on his hand and raised it to my lips, laying a kiss on his cool skin. It didn’t matter how many timesI did it, I would keep doing it. I needed him to know I was here. Waiting. He was paler than usual and his eyelids twitched, caught in whatever nightmare he was having. It couldn’t have been worse than how I felt right now, watching my pet struggle against an infection that poisoned him from the inside.
A sense of helplessness settled over me like my own version of venom, blanketing me with anxiety that clawed at my already shredded lungs and ate at my soul. My father once taught me feelings were weaknesses disguised as humanity and to bury them deep down, where they’d never see the light of day. That emotional detachment had allowed me to become the boss, but the walls I’d built and locked those emotions in had crumbled. Conall was the first person to take a pickaxe to them, and little by little, he destroyed them until I was his, completely.
Now I could lose him. I wouldn’t allow it. If death took him, I wouldn’t be far behind. Without Conall, I ceased to exist. I didn’t know how I’d breathed before I met him. Maybe that was the point. I wasn’tliving. Pet after pet, they came and went, and none of them had any real meaning. A hole to use and a person to control. Then, Conall had entered my world and everything had changed. He’d destroyed those walls and burrowed into my chest, taking ownership of my heart.
When Conall died, it would be when he was old and gray, and if I had it my way, we’d die together, lying in our bed with our arms wrapped around each other. A foolish dream, but one that I thought about often. I was older than Conall, I should hope he died a long time after me, but I was selfish. If I died, I wanted him right next to me, leaving this world with me because he needed me like I needed him. We belonged to each other in life and death. Nothing would come between us, not even a grave. No. His passion and love and commitment belonged tome.
Doctors and nurses came into his room, taking notes, checking his IV, and giving him medication.
“What were you doing?” I demanded, guarding Conall’s bed. I didn’t trust anyone to take care of him the way he deserved.
A kind, older lady with green cat-eye glasses gave me a gentle smile. I knew her, but I couldn’t remember her name. She had gray hair pulled back into a tight bun. “We’re noting his vitals, Mr. Killough. It’s very important.”
I gnashed my molars. “And what were you giving him?” I nodded at the other nurse who was injecting his IV.
The older nurse shifted closer to me. “They’re giving him IV antibiotics. They’ll fight the infection. You need to trust us to help Mr. Morrissey.”
It wasn’t that easy. Unease prickled over my skin.
The door opened and one of the men guarding the hallways peeked inside. “Everything all right, Boss?”
I nodded sharply. “Fine. Nobody without credentials gets in this room, am I clear?”
The soldier nodded before he was gone again.
Lorcan had sent men after Conall and Fionn. He’d finally crossed the line and betrayed me in a way I’d make sure he regretted. My nostrils flared, ideas of torture filling my head. I’d already begun imagining what I’d do to him, all the gruesome ways I’d make him pay, and the thoughts soothed some of the tension.
“He’ll be out for a while longer,” the nurse said, dragging me out of my thoughts. I glanced down at her friendly smile again. “And I see you have men guarding the doors. Maybe you should take a break, sir.” Her voice was low and kind. I thought she was one of the nurses Daire liked, but I wasn’t sure. As if reading my mind, or maybe the expression on my face, she spoke again. “I’m not sure if you remember me, sir. My name is Meredith. Let me know if you need anything. Maybe you should get something to eat.”
“No.” I fell back down on the seat next to Conall, eyeing the nurses as they worked. “I’m staying right here until he wakes.”
A couple of hours later, when all was quiet and night had truly fallen, Conall groaned, jerking me out of a half sleep. He shifted in bed and whimpered.
I stood, leaning over him with my thumb caressing his cheek. “Pet?”
His lashes fluttered and hope bloomed in my chest.
“Are you with me?” I whispered, stroking my fingers down his chin and neck.
He blinked awake and his mouth curled softly, a smile drifting over his lips. His eyes opened and he turned his head toward me. When his gaze landed on me, warmth spread through my chest...until fear replaced the gentle expression on his face. His eyes widened and he reared back with a gasp.
“Pet?” I threw myself to my feet as he flinched. “Conall, what’s?—”
