I’m not stupid, and it’s starting to be really obvious. He doesn’t need my tutoring at all. I watch as he follows my explanations on his physics assignment, and he’s not even listening to me. He knows every damn thing I’m saying to him.
Why the hell is he torturing me by being here, then? He’s more distracted today than he usually is, so I test out my theory by purposefully explaining the theory wrong, and then I watch him answer the questions. He gets them all correct. What the hell is his problem?
“I told you during our first session that if you’re not here to learn, then you shouldn’t come,” I say, my temper rising. It doesn’t really matter if he’s learning or not, I get the credits just for being here, but I feel duped. Like he’s just here to push all my buttons, or to find ways for Avery to torture me.
“And I told you, if you want the credits, you’ll sit and teach me.” He doesn’t look up from his work as he speaks, which is probably for the best. I’m seething even as I survey his stunning eyelashes. It’s a crime that he has naturally sooty eyelashes that curl beautifully. I wonder how many girls have stared at them enviously before me? He looks like he’s wearing eyeliner, a dark frame around the cerulean blue irises.
“If you’re not actually learning anything, then we could just sit and study together in silence. I could get my work done, and you could… do whatever it is that you’re here for, without me having to ramble on uselessly.”
He glances up and catches me ogling him. I refuse to blush; I tell myself I’m staring because I’m pissed. He gives me a slow smirk and leans back in his chair, cocky as he crosses his arms over his chest. I forget sometimes that he’s built. The uniform hides the physique of the male students far better than the legs and curves of the females. Sexist bullshit. If the guys get to see whether or not I’ve shaved my legs this week, I think I should be able to see who bench presses my bodyweight on the regular.
“Enjoying the eye fuck?” he drawls. Oh, no. That self-flagellating tone will just not do. I need to take him down a notch.
“I’m assessing your weak spots, so I’m confident in my aim when I have to take you out.” He doesn’t back down. If anything, my words egg him on. His smirk turns into an entirely too-confident flirty grin. I haven’t been this close to swooning since Blaise’s appearance at the school. This guy is devil spawn.
“Sure you are, Mounty. And will you be aiming for my eyes, then?”
I nod and attempt a glare. “Blinding you gives me a much better chance at survival. You’re twice the size of me, so unless you’re well trained at fighting in the dark, that should even the playing field nicely.”
He chuckles and lets his eyes roam over my chest and down my legs. I hate people looking at my legs. The scars may have faded to white but they’re still plain to see. I can’t wait until I’m a junior and I can wear the thigh-high socks. Cute, and a satisfactory cover up. His gaze is heated, I think he’s flirting with me, but with no prior experience I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I might be mistaking things because of how badly I want Ash. He’s such an asshole but, fuck, I’m attracted to him.
“Don’t sleep with any of the boys.” I look up to see Ash looking at me with such intensity, my knees think about shaking.
“What the fuck?!” I sputter out, more at my reaction than his words.
“I know it probably goes against your Mounty nature, but you’ll just dig a bigger hole for yourself if you fuck any of them.” How do I find him so attractive when he’s such a dick to me?
“My Mounty nature? I’m not some sexual fucking deviant! Why is every boy in this damn school so far up their own asses?”
He smirks at me and shrugs. I don't know what to do with him or how to reply, so I drop my eyes back to the assignment in front of me and get back to marking it. It’s all correct, because of course it is, he’s fucking with me by being here.
“Joey has decided he's going to fuck you. That's why he started the bet in the first place. He likes to prove how powerful he is. Every year he picks some big, elaborate goal, and then we all get to sit back and watch while he crushes, breaks, and mutilates everyone around him to achieve it. This year it’s you.” I think I've stopped breathing. This should be over. He can't possibly be saying I'm still going to be a target for Joey torape.“If you fuck any other guy, Joey will probably kill you both.”
It's become so commonplace to use the word ‘kill’ flippantly. They'd kill for those shoes, they'd kill you if you tell on them, they'd love nothing more than to kill that person. Ash isn't saying the word kill like that. He's saying it like he's seen him brother choke the life out of another human being. I give him a curt nod. It's not like I had any plans to date at this place. I'd always planned on waiting until college to lose my cherry, so what difference did it make if Joey had a say in it too?
A fucking big difference.
Now I wanted to fuck half the school just to spite him. Well, not really. I wanted him to think I had, because I didn't want my celibacy to look like I was bowing to him and his whims.
“What do your parents think of Joey and his actions?”
It's the wrong thing to say. I watch as Ash’s face sets and a thunderous look rolls in. I shouldn't have asked. The gossip mill here at Hannaford is active enough that I could have just asked around instead. I was bolstered by his kindness in warning me, and I forgot myself. I forgot for a second that, to this man, I will always be trash.
“How about I'll answer that when you answer something for me. Did it hurt? When you found your mom, did it cripple you, even though you always knew it was going to end that way?”
My chest collapses in on itself like a vice is squeezing the life out of me. I should know by now that Ash always goes for the low blow in a fight. It did cripple me, but I’m not that girl anymore. I think about my life as the me before, the one who had to fight for food but had a mom, and there’s the me now. I don’t have to fight for food anymore, and I have a safe place to sleep every night. I’m at the best school in the country. I already have the attention of several of the top colleges in the state, and I have plans to start reaching out to others further away from home. I did a lot of bad things to get to where I am today, my hands are filthy with it. I don’t feel any better now than I did before.
I am truly alone.
“One of these days, I am going to show this school what it takes to survive at Mounts Bay High and foster care. ” My voice shakes, and he smirks at me.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He turns his attention back to his homework, and I grit my teeth. Why, oh why, did have to do this for extra credits? I finish my page of sums in seconds, my affinity with numbers making this all child’s play, and then I crack open the required reading for my literature class while I wait for him to catch up.
“Hey, man! Just in time, as per usual,” Ash calls out, and I cringe. I know what that sarcastic tone of voice means. My other student has arrived.
Blaise looks like he would rather be anywhere but here. I’ve lost the fire within me that had enabled me to speak to him callously, so I stare at his ear lobe again and wait for him to sit down.
