“Yes, and don't worry. I won't underestimate it.”
“Good. Scry me when you know more.”
“I will. Goodbye, Dad.”
“Goodbye, Daughter.”
I closed the scry phone and looked up to find Raza staring at me.
“I need to go home,” he said.
I stood up. “And I need to get back to Seelie. But I'm not leaving until I know we're good.”
“We're very good, mo shíorghrá.” Raza came to me and put his hands on my waist. “Just remember who you are.”
“Raza, do you really think I cheated on you?”
His hands clenched, but still, he didn't cut me with his claws.
“Oh, fuck. You do,” I whispered.
“I agree that your mind is not all you are, Seren. That it can be manipulated. But let me ask you this—did it feel real to you?”
“Yes.”
His expression grew tense.
“And no,” I added.
“Why the no?”
“They're vivid dreams, but they're still dreams. There is a haziness to them that feels unreal. It's the haze that keeps me from fighting against them. Yes, I feel what's happening, but in a dampened way. Like my brain thinks it's happening, so it triggers the sensations, but they're dulled. More like a memory than something occurring in the present.” I took his hands. “This, I know is real. I can feel everything acutely. I smell you—toasted marshmallows.”
“Toasted marshmallows?” Raza's voice and expression went horrified.
Laughing, I lifted my head, and he brought his lips to mine.
After kissing him, I whispered against his lips, “Toasted marshmallows. Sweet and smoky. I can even taste you. This is real. All of my senses know you are real.”
He lifted his head. “I understand.”
“Do you?” I cocked my head at him. “Have you thought of strangling Killian?”
Raza snorted. “Not recently, but I have, yes.” He grimaced. “All right, I see your point. Thinking about it is not the same as doing it. But you said he was there with you. Sharing the dream makes it different.”
“Yes, like sharing thoughts. If I had a random thought of having sex with Star, and he was telepathically linked to me at the same time, does that mean we had sex?”
“It means you both want to,” he growled.
“Which I've been honest about. I can't help feeling desire, and I can't help what I dream, babe.” I paused. “Hold on. That's what it is. It's a psychic connection. But if that's true, why won't my Light or Star's hakhil block it?”
“I don't think you truly want to block it, Seren.” He stroked my hair. “You may think you do, and so you set your ward. But then, when you drift off, your defenses drift as well, and the truth of what you want is revealed.”
“So we slip through,” I murmured. “Maybe. I'm not so sure, Raza. This feels . . . deliberate.”
“You think this is an attack?” Raza scowled in thought. “Maybe this is someone threatening Astaroth's rule.”
“It would be a clever way to weaken him. But I'm not sure that's it either. I don't know. My thoughts on this are jumbled. I need some time to think it over now that I'm getting some real sleep. It's all suspicious. The hakhil and Light not working, how it happens every night, the blight—”
