“Oh, for the love of the sweet Goddess!” Raza snarled. “At least angle me so I may see her.”
Tiernan looked at me.
I nodded.
He uncrossed his legs and moved his chair closer to mine, then propped the scry phone against a brass table lamp.
I met Raza's glare. “I'm sorry, Raza. I should have told you.”
His face twitched. Black on black—his midnight skin against his ebony hair made his glower literally dark. The only color came from his golden eyes, the blush on his lips, and the red streaks in his hair. “Seren, how could you keep this from us?”
“Raza, please consider—” Tiernan started.
Raza cut him off with, “Tiernan, shut the fuck up.”
Tiernan sighed and motioned for Raza to continue.
“After all we've gone through with that Demon, you hide more from us? You promised not to do this, Seren. You promised!”
“I know, but they were just dreams. We weren't actually together.”
“Oh, but you were.” Raza leaned closer. “Killian said youshareddreams with Astaroth. Don't you understand? It wasn't only in your mind. And if it was experienced by both of you, it was real.”
“No, it was only in our heads.”
“Did you feel him—his touch?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“And he felt yours?”
“I assume so.”
“You were intimate?”
“Are you asking if I had sex with him?”
“No, Seren.” His eyes started to glow. “Iknowyou had sex with him. I'm asking if you spoke with him before and after. Did you lie in his arms and speak words of love to each other?”
I cringed. “Yes, but I had no control over that.”
Raza's jaw worked. He looked down. When he lifted his face, his eyes were full of tears. It pulled a shuddering gasp from me. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen Raza cry.
“I'm so sorry, baby.” I stroked the crystal. “Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. Oh, fuck. Don't cry. I couldn't control myself in my dreams. I thought that . . . I guess I had to believe that they didn't matter. That it wasn't real.”
“Seren, your mind is the most real part of you, and you gave it to him.” Raza's tears overflowed, and he shook his head. “I can't look at you right now.” He slashed a finger across the crystal and vanished.
“Raza!” I screamed and fell out of my chair, onto my knees. I just stared at the blank phone as my heart shattered. Because he was right. Although Tiernan had done the right thing and brought us closer together, Raza had spoken the truth. Truth I should have seen but had chosen to ignore. “He didn't give me a chance to tell him what Astaroth had said.”
“Come here, my love.” Tiernan slid onto the floor behind me and took me onto his lap. “He will forgive you. He's just wounded right now.”
“Yes, from my claws,” I whispered. “Why does loving one man mean hurting five?”
“It will be all right.” He rocked me.
“He's right, Tiernan. I betrayed you.” I looked up at him. “All of you. I cheated on you. Why aren't you raging at me too?”
“Raza is both right and wrong. Yes, the mind is the seat of the intellect, and it even has a path to the heart, but it is not the most real part of us. The mind can be tricked too easily. It can be manipulated. The heart is not so easily fooled, but it can be misled as well. Neither of them holds all of you.”
