Tears. I was crying. Holy shit!
I looked up at Cy, steadied myself, and then let it all in. Everything I'd been denying. All the emotions I'd been pushing away. I wasn't one to deceive myself, but I had been. Time to face the truth. I was falling for the men I'd bargained to be with. It made no sense to me. Fate shouldn't have control over my heart. Destiny doesn't determine the way you feel. But maybe it predicted what my heart would feel. The thought made me feel better. I was still in control. This was my heart. My emotions. I could feel them if I wanted to. Those threads weren't puppet strings.
“Will you help me put it on?” I held out the box.
Cyrus winced. “I can try. The clasp is small. Made for daintier fingers than mine.”
Despite his protests, Cy didn't have a problem opening the clasp and securing the necklace on me. I held a hand over the fairy as he did, trying to still my heart under the guise of holding the pendant in place. It didn't help. A tide of feeling rose, threatening to drown me. As Cyrus stepped around to my front again, I swayed.
“Salina!” He steadied me.
I took Cyrus's face in my hands and let my momentum take me forward—to him. Into our first kiss.
Cue the fireworks, right? Nope. Jake was a back alley brawler where kissing was concerned, punching me in the face with desire. Cy, however, was a fucking ninja. His lips movedover mine stealthily, building excitement. Creeping up on me until he peppered me with throwing stars. Each hit struck true, making me shudder until I was a quivering mass that could barely stand. It was all right. He took my weight easily and lifted me off my feet to bring my face up to the level of his.
I wrapped my arms around Cyrus's shoulders and held on like an idiot in one of those plastic boats they take down some rapids. Those people were fucking nuts, but I understood them now. That thrill—if it was anything like Cyrus's kiss—was unmatched. I'd risk my life for this. I'd float down this savage river, let it bash me about, and then, when I reached safety, I'd run back to the start and do it all over again. Give me another ride on the Cyrus Ninja Rapids, please.
Cyrus was not unaffected either. His fingers dug into my ass, pulling me even closer even as he held me up. A vibration came from his chest to seep into mine. His whole body thrummed. It was as if I'd thrown a switch and turned him on. Okay, yeah, I did turn him on. I understand the line now—turn on. Duh.
When we finally eased away from each other, Cy still didn't put me down. He just bent his head to bring our foreheads together and panted with me, our breath mingling to create our own climate, one even hotter and more humid than New Orleans.
At last, Cyrus set me down, and I stepped back, one hand still set on his chest. Over his heart. I stared at my hand for a moment, trying to get my bearings, then looked up to meet Cy's gaze. The jaded me would have expected a look of triumph in those bluer-than-blue eyes. This me expected something else.
And I got it.
“You are so much more than I hoped for,” Cyrus whispered.
Going with the honesty of the moment, I said, “You are what I never dared to hope for.”
Cyrus made a choked sound, then yanked me into another kiss. We were still kissing when two other men walked in.
“Well, now I feel like the kid picked last for softball.”
I tore myself away from Cy's lips to look over my shoulder at Lex. “Last but not least?” I winked at him.
Lex chuckled. “Does this mean you're over our alphatudes?”
“Alphatudes?” I leaned into Cy, hugging him. It felt natural, as did the way his arms circled me. “I like that. And yes, I think I've finally adjusted to all the mood swings this body has given me.”
Jake grunted in a questioning way.
“That's my way of apologizing.” I stepped away from Cy so I could include him in what I was about to say. “I'm sorry for the way I've behaved. I've had a bit of an epiphany. All these memories of past lives have hit me hard in more ways than I thought. I've learned to be cautious. Overly cautious, maybe. My lives have taught me to distrust men. They taught me to use them before they could use me. I've had to deal with that and figure out that you three are not your average men.”
“It's about time,” Cyrus teased.
“Thank you for seeing us as we are,” Lex said. “It doesn't matter that it took some time. It could have taken years, and we would have gladly waited for you, Salina.”
Jake made a deep rumbling sound of agreement.
Surprisingly, they didn't pounce on me after my apology. Lex did saunter over and pull me into a kiss, though. After the slow-build of Cyrus, Lex was a steady burn. The scent of something refreshing and clean, like a rainforest, rose from him, awakening my senses. Then Jake swooped in to steal a quick kiss and seal the deal, sort to speak. If the other two had closed in while I was kissing Jake, or if Jake had turned the heat up to his usual degree, I would have been done for.
But I needed time after my revelation. I had only just come to terms with the way my past affected me in this new body. Only an hour ago, I had turned away from the possibility of Jake loving me and now I was cool with it? No. I mean, yes, I was. Mostly. Ugh! If there hadn't been an Ace, it would have been so much easier. I hated the flip-flop of my emotions. No one likes a wishy-washy person. But I also knew that I wouldn't be like this for long. Those three kisses had indeed sealed things for me. I knew it, down deep. This was meant to be mine. This life with these men. And yet, even with that certainty ringing through me, I still needed to process it before I jumped into the deep end of my future doggy pool.
And they knew what I needed. I don't know how, but they did. Jake ended our kiss, and then the three of us went downstairs for dinner. No pressure. No questions. And there was no awkwardness between us anymore. All gone. In its place rose a casual comfort that made me want to purr. Content—that's what I was. And I would have stayed content if my thoughts hadn't kept turning to Ace.
With the things I was feeling for the hounds, Ace should have been reduced to a small corner of my mind. The fact that he wasn't told me that there were more memories of him to discover, hidden deeper inside me. There had to be more to us—a bond nearly as powerful as the one building between me and the hounds. Powerful enough that I couldn't walk away from him.
Something had to be done. Maybe I just needed closure. I hoped that helping Ace would free us both. I just needed to figure out how to kill Silas.
