Xae sat up and sighed, his wide shoulders sagging heavily. “Yes. If we win.”
I shot back the rest of my drink and set my glass aside as I stood up. “You don't think we will?” I sat down in front of him on the bed.
One of Xaedren's broad, warrior hands lifted and cupped my cheek. “I don't know, Ember.” His thumb rubbed the skin just beneath my eye. “I'm not having a vision. I don't know what's going to happen. And that's what scares me.” His hand fell away. “I have never been happier than I am with you. You opened my heart to many things. Love, yes, of course, but also hope. I've been hoping for so much lately.”
I nodded. “And with hope comes fear.”
“Yes, fear that I won't get what I want.”
“Well, if you don't, we'll be dead. So, it won't matter,” I teased.
Xae didn't laugh.
“Xaedren, I can't believe that we've come this far only to lose.” I moved to sit beside him and leaned my shoulder against his. “Death can't win. He just can't. It would destroy the world.”
“That doesn't make me feel better.”
I chuckled. “Then forget hope and fear. Focus on love and faith. Have faith in the Goddess, us, and yourself.”
Xae finally smiled. “I think I can do that.” Then he slid an arm around me and slid us down onto the pillows. Rolling onto his side, he tucked me in against him. “I love you, Ember.”
“I love you too, Xae.” I lifted my head to look at him. “Are you sure you want to live with Rath after the war?”
He lifted his brows at me.
I shrugged. “It could be just you and me again.”
“But then you'd be gone longer, visiting Rath on top of the others. And I'm not a lone wolf anymore. I have a pack now. I've missed this. I don't want to give it up.”
“Xae,” I whispered and stroked his chest. “I didn't think about that.”
Xae had lost his family and nearly his entire village to the war. Sixteen people had survived the attack, but they'd separated afterward. Xae joined the Wraith Lords to get vengeance. There were more Wolf Ladrin in the world, but he wasn't related or otherwise tied to any of them. So, he technically had a clan, but he didn't know them. There was no one who he had grown up with or been a neighbor to. He had no pack.
I never considered that Xae might replace his pack with us. It made sense now. Rath must have known. All of usshared a bond, but Ratharin and Xaedren had formed a special relationship that went deeper than the others between my men. Maybe because they'd been rivals once. Or maybe because it had been the three of us at first. Whatever the case, Xae had made a pack with us, all of us. But even in packs, there was a hierarchy. Family came first. Rath and I were family to Xae—his mate and brother.
“The shower's free,” Rath said as he came out of the bathroom.
He was drying his hair with magic, his hand sliding downward, collecting the water in a bubble to send back into the bathroom. It was such a casual display of power, done with barely any thought, that it impressed me even more. As a Varraen, Rath had been born with all the elemental magic, and he'd been damn good at them. Not mage level, but very good. I could still remember the first time I saw him fight. He'd been in a one-on-one with the Corrupter, using two swords instead of the standard sword and shield. And he had set fire to his blades. I was so in awe of him. I don't think I've ever stopped being in awe of Ratharin. But he wasn't this powerful when we first met. This level of expertise only came after we bonded and I added more men to our group. We were all impressive now. Even Xae had elemental magic.
Hair dry, Rath stopped short and smiled at us. “Someday, this will be our life. A string of relaxing days spent as we wish.”
I looked at Xae and we grinned at Rath together.
“That's exactly what we were talking about.” I sat up so Xae could get out of bed.
The men traded places, Xae patting Rath on the shoulder as he passed by, heading into the bathroom. Rath only had his undershorts on, and he didn't seem inclined to add more. I started to wonder if we should get dressed. Vex might find it awkward to be greeted by half-naked men. Or maybe he'd love it. I thought about how much Vex had enjoyed being a bottom for me. Would he want to do it when it was all of us? Probably not. He was too new to it and he was a private man. It would be hard enough for him to perform in front of the others as it was. Hopefully, their bond would form quickly since ours was already in place. Then he wouldn't feel any awkwardness.
The outer suite door opened without a knock coming first. I leaned over to look through the bedroom doorway and saw Keltyr come in with Taroc. They got drinks from the side table in the outer room and then joined us.
“Well, don't you two look eager?” Keltyr said. He sat on the foot of the bed, but Taroc took the chair by the window, the one I had vacated earlier.
“We just showered,” I said. “There wasn't much reason to get dressed again.”
Taroc propped an elbow on the armrest of his chair to hold his drink aloft and sipped as he stared at me. A shiver went down my spine. Holding my stare, he undid his pants.
“Come here,” Taroc said.
“Shouldn't we wait for Vexen?” Keltyr asked.
