“And they are Water and Fire, respectively,” Air said.
“Look, Sparky,” Fire said, “we've been watching shit go down, and we're not happy about it. We've been feeling the heat, and usually, I'm good with heat, you know? But not this kind of heat. Death has gone too far. That fucking whacko thinks he's a god. You need to end this, kid. Like yesterday.”
I blinked, trying to process her strange way of speaking. “Uh, yeah. What do you think I've been doing?”
“We know what you've been doing,” Earth said. “We see all.”
“Creepy, Earth,” I said. “Real creepy.”
A high, tinkling laugh tickled my skin, leaving a sheen of moisture behind. I stared at my arm, bemused. The Elements were talking to me. All of them. And they called me the Spark of the Goddess. That was kind of wonderful.
“Are you going to cry?” Earth asked, aghast.
“No. I'm just . . . I'm very touched that you have all come to help me.” I paused. “You are here to help me, right?”
“I was getting to that,” Earth grumbled, sounding like a rockslide.
And then someone growled.
“Whoa, big boy,” Fire said. “Stand down. We're not that dickhead Death.”
I spun to find Taroc standing in the open doorway—naked, gorgeous, and ready to kill. “Shit!” I ran over to him and set my hands on his chest. “Hey, love. It's all right. I'm talking with the Elements. The Consciousness-es-ses-ses of them. All of them. They're going to help me defeat Death.”
“So put your male parts away,” Earth rumbled.
“Why? You feeling a little body envy, Earth?” Fire asked. “A littlebigbody envy.”
A scoffing sound came before Earth said, “I have the biggest balls of them all.”
My jaw fell. Taroc's eyes went wide. Then I started laughing so hard that I doubled over.
“That was dumb,” Fire said.
“The human gets it,” Earth said. “By balls, I mean boulders.”
“Yes, we understand,” Air said dryly.
“Could we just get along?” Water asked. “Go with the flow.”
“Oh, shut up, you wishy-washy bitch,” Fire huffed.
I laughed harder.
“Everyone, please!” Air snapped. “They'll think we're a bunch of flighty morons.”
“Speak for yourself,” Earth said. “I and my giant balls are grounded. Literally.”
“Oh, sweet Goddess,” I gasped as I straightened. “This is unbelievable.”
“What the fuck is happening right now?” Taroc whispered, his expression a cross between shock and confusion.
“I think the Elements are arguing,” I said. “You know, some of them just don't mix.” Then I laughed again.
“Actually, young Ember,” Earth said, “we are here precisely because we can mix. You have proven that.”
“You're just not that good at it, Sparky,” Fire said.
“So, we're going to help you get better,” Water said, her tone upbeat.
