His eyes flashed, and a growl rolled from him. “You will not allow anyone but me to touch you. Understood?”
I let out a shaky breath and nodded.
“You're my . . .” Vax hesitated.
“Your consort?” I asked. “Vax, I'm honored that you gave me the title, and I want to accept it, but you know I can't stay.”
The Sea King's voice went cold. “What do you mean?”
“This won't work.” I held up a hand before he could say anything. “I'm so grateful to you for saving me. It was romanticand so fucking sexy. I will remember it forever. And what we've shared since then has been amazing. I don't ever want to leave.”
His shoulders relaxed a little. “Then why can't you stay?”
“I'm a pirate. I need to feel the sea below me, not just around me. I need the thrill of adventure. And I have friends up there who are like family to me. My captain saved my life too. He found me—” I cut myself off, shocked that I'd been about to tell him about the Gashi. I never talked about that time of my life. “He saved me. I owe him. I can't leave him up there thinking I'm dead.”
“He found you where?” Vaxarion demanded.
“It doesn't matter. It was a long time ago.”
“Tell me, M—my Zixin,” he stuttered strangely over the word my. Maybe he realized that I wasn't his. Not as he wanted me to be. Not as I wanted to be, either.
“No,” I said. “No, that's a part of my past I don't talk about. Just know that I'm not an acceptable consort for a king. As much as I'd like to stay here, basking in what we've found together and forgetting that the rest of the world exists, I can't. I can't do that knowing the day will come when you realize I'm unfit and lose interest in me. Better for me to leave now while this is still beautiful.”
“I will not lose interest in you, Zix,” Vax said firmly. “You are my—”
“No,” I cut him off. “Don't lie to me. Let's just appreciate what we've had and not tarnish the memories. I want to go before that happens. Someday, you can look back and remember me with a smile instead of bitterness.”
“I will never feel bitter toward you.” He grimaced. “Except for this moment. Frankly, I want to shake you.”
“Vax, you have twenty-six other lovers. What about them? I know you're a king, but I don't want to be one of the throng who beds you.”
“I will release them.”
I went still. “What?”
“I'll release my slaves.”
“You will?” My hearts exploded with joy. But I reined them in. “You said you couldn't promise to never take another lover.”
“That was before. I can now. Don't go, Zix.”
Oh, how I ached. My whole chest seemed to pulse with the need to stay with him. But I knew all about men promising you something to get you to be with them, then turning around and changing their minds. I couldn't let him sway me. Still . . .
I went to Vax and took his hand. “Maybe you wouldn't get tired of me. Maybe we could have something special.”
“Yes,” he said urgently. “That's what I'm trying to explain to you.”
“But even if that were true, I still have other people to think about. Myself included.” I sighed. “Vax, I can't stay here, living below the sea with you forever.”
“We don't have to. I can take you above whenever you wish.”
“Will you join me on the Lu-Ken too?” I grinned sadly at him.
“Can you not give that up for me?” Vax cupped my cheek. “I am offering you a life that most would kill for. And you would never have to kill again. You would never have to risk yourself or steal to survive. I will give you everything. All you have to do is embrace this life and let go of your old one.”
I stared at him, my chest aching with the rapid beating of my hearts. I wanted him. I wanted this badly. A new life? No piracy? Only pleasure with the Sea King? Maybe I could have it. Just forget about the men who were like brothers to me. Forget the captain who had raised me like a son. Forget the life I had forged for myself. I hadn't chosen it anyway. Did I really need adventure? Wasn't Vaxarion enough adventure for me?
“This is crazy,” I whispered. “We barely know each other.”
