“Good.”
“Look, I don't want you to obey me. I just want you to listen when I'm trying to help you. I want to protect you, Lora. My instincts told me to keep you in the house, but I let myself get talked out of it. I was so mad when you were attacked. Mad at myself and you. We've been hunting these people for weeks now. We know more than you do about them. You should have trusted us.”
“I did trust you. I trusted you to guard me while I went to work.”
Merrick sighed. “I don't know how to love a woman.”
“So, you're gay?”
“What?” He looked baffled. “No. I just—”
I laughed. “I'm teasing you.”
“Oh.”
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't tease you when you're trying to be serious with me.”
“I'm not a virgin, Lora. I've been with women. Many women.”
“Okay, TMI.”
“But never for more than a week. Just long enough to know that they weren't my mate.” He cleared his throat and added, “That they weren't you.”
“You're certain now?”
Merrick sighed and looked away. “When I saw you with that man, I knew for certain.”
“Kaleo? You mean when you spied on my date?”
“We were . . .” He grimaced. “All right, yes, we were spying on you. And yes, that's when I realized that Rune was wrong to leave you. I knew you were the one. I knew it because I didn't care about Hermes anymore. His connection to you didn't matter. And because I was so angry I nearly hurt that human. The only thing that saved him was that he didn't try to kiss you or enter your home. He walked away. Still, I was upset when I approached you.”
“Yeah, you were,” I murmured, seeing his aggression in a new light. “You were jealous.”
Merrick pressed his lips together.
“You've never been jealous, have you?”
“No,” he said. “I've never felt a lot of the things I've been feeling around you. For you.”
“You know, I'm limited to my perspective. We all are. But sometimes talking can help us see things from someone else's point of view. I needed to see yours, Merrick. It changes things.”
“It does?”
“Yes. I've been seeing this as strange and scary. I'm afraid of losing control of my life and of what it will be like to love three men. But I've never thought about how scary it would be to have my heart follow the dictates of another. Rune fell in love with me, not you. You were forced into feeling love. I would be angry too. I'd feel out of control. Love shouldn't be forced.”
Merrick stared at me for a few seconds, his expression pensive. “I'm not angry about that. You're trying to see my point of view, and I appreciate that. But even your attempt is colored by your perspective. You don't understand what it's like to be part of us. My heart wasn't forced to follow Rune's. Rune fell in love, and we felt it, yes, but we also feltwhyhe fell in love. We saw you through Rune before we met you. And it was that perspective, coupled with the emotion we felt in him, that has turned our hearts toward you. At least, that's what it's like for me. It wasn't a sudden, magical blast of emotion that I was forced to feel. It was more of an awareness and then the opportunity to make my own journey. The destination was inevitable, sure, but I haven't gotten there yet. And it's my journey, not Rune's.”
“Our journey,” I whispered.
Merrick lifted his glass. “To our journey.”
I clicked my glass against his and sipped. Champagne felt appropriate for the moment. I didn't have to be in love instantly with Rune's packmates. I could get there at my pace, and Merrick wouldn't rush me. Because he was pacing himself too.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The next day, Merrick found something. He got an interesting video from Kaleo's hotel. It showed Kaleo talking to another man. Kaleo looked upset, but the other man remained calm and grim. They finally left together. Their argument provided Merrick with enough angles for him to get a clear image of the man's face. That image got him an ID. The guy was a local. He lived in Lynnwood, about 16 miles away.
“What do you mean, I'm not going?” I demanded.
