“The thing was supposed to be protective,” Braxen said. “I guess the orcas didn't approve of what he did.”
I remembered the way Kaleo had looked when I told him about the totem pole. I couldn't decipher it then but now I saw it as wistful and afraid. He knew there was a chance he wasn't going to make it home. My throat closed up, pushing down a sob. I would keep the totem pole as a reminder of Kaleo Chang. Despite what he'd done, he had been a good man. I would remember not that he tried to hurt me but that he tried to save me. His last word had been, “Run.” If only he hadn't run so fast.
Chapter Twenty-Five
After my meal, I went to lie down and fell asleep for a few hours. I dreamed of Argus, the giant Hermes killed. Myths said he had many eyes, but he was just a very big man blessed by a goddess and charged with a task that shouldn't have been so important. I'd always thought it was silly. A man guarding a woman so another man wouldn't cheat on his wife with her. It wasn't as if it stopped him from cheating with other women.
It was all before my time. I only knew about it because Hermes told me. But in my dream, I was there. I saw Lo, the captive nymph, crying for her divine lover. She curled into a ball and wept endlessly. Argus didn't care. He had a duty, and that was all that mattered to him. Hera was all that mattered to him. And Hera wasn't like me. She wouldn't accept that relationships changed. She was a goddess, she could have taken lots of lovers, but it wasn't about love for her. It was about pride. Or maybe it was just a game. Gods play games all the time. It helps ease eternity.
I saw Hermes in my dream. He played a stringed instrument and lulled Argus to sleep. He could have simply freed Lo then. But he had been asked to kill the giant. So after Argus was asleep, Hermes beheaded him. My dream focused on Hermes's face when he did it. His expression was smug. He'd been delighted to best the giant that no one could get past.Delighted to kill him. Because death was nothing to a god. It was all about winning.
That terrible smile drove me out of sleep. I woke shivering, stare searching the darkness for Hermes. I had slept the day away, and that was always disconcerting, but that dream had unsettled me. I sat up and reached for the lamp on the bedside table. Light seeped into the room, golden and soft. No Hermes in sight.
And yet, my heart still raced.
Merrick had reminded me of Hermes when he said that I belonged to them. I think that, more than anything, had been what prompted me to strike him. I shouldn't have. Violence was never the answer. But it had felt good. As if I were striking Merrick and Hermes at the same time.
“You belong to me now,”Hermes's voice echoed through my memories.“Forget what came before. Your life is mine. And I take care of what's mine. You will live forever, Lomasi. You will never age, remaining as beautiful as you are in this moment.”
Hermes had saved me from a natural death but also an unnatural death numerous times. He had killed for me. Cursed for me. Turn cities into ruins for me. But I was starting to wonder if any of it had been about me at all. Maybe I had continued to be a challenge to him, even after I gave him my virginity. Maybe it was my blood, the warrior in me who wanted to be free. I kept pushing at him, and he kept reeling me in tighter. Hermes had saved me because he loved me, but maybe, just maybe, he had done it to tighten the noose around my neck too. He knew me well. Hermes had seen my loyalty to my family and tribe. He knew that once he won it, it would be his forever.That he could walk all over me, and I would make excuses for him. Because as much as I said I didn't believe in holding onto the bad things in the past, I did believe in holding onto the good. I built a mental monument to goodness. I clung to it. That shouldn't be a bad thing, but it was if it blinded me to the truth.
“No,” I whispered. “Stop it, Lora. You are strong. You have always been strong. Hermes never abused you. He loved you. He still loves you. He just loves sex more.”
A shiver went down my spine. I had spoken his name too many times lately. It was never a good idea to talk about the Messenger God. All Gods could listen to you when you invoked their name. It was their choice, of course, but they could do it. Which meant that Hermes could have heard everything we'd said about him.
“Unlikely,” I muttered. “If he had, he'd be here. Because if he didn't care enough to come, then he wouldn't have cared enough to listen.”
Still, I determined to not mention his name again.
I got out of bed and went to the en suite to shower. The wet heat helped. I felt revived when I stepped out of the stall. A fresh set of clothes finished my transformation into a normal person. Well, as normal as an immortal could be.
I was just applying a bit of perfume when a knock came at the door.
“Come in,” I called.
Merrick walked in. He shut the door behind him.
I stared at him. Merrick wasn't as beautiful as Braxen, but he was nearly as handsome as Rune. Sure, his lips were alittle harsh, especially when he had them pressed into a thin line as they were now. But his emerald eyes were bright and framed by thick lashes. The sharpness of his features enhanced his masculinity. There was no denying his appeal. To a normal woman, he'd be on par with a movie star. But I had been the lover of a god.
Just like Shania, I wasn't impressed.
What did impress me was the way he determinedly relaxed his face and stepped forward. His hands unclenched and his lips parted. “Lora, I'm sorry.”
I nodded. “So am I. I shouldn't have hit you. I apologize.”
“Don't,” he said. “I needed it. I was out of line.”
“Then I accept your apology, Merrick.”
“I, uh, I was hoping you'd be hungry. I know you ate before your nap, but maybe—”
“I can eat,” I interrupted. “What do you have in mind?”
A blush crept up his neck, and I gaped at it. The color was so bizarre on him, so out of place.
“I cooked. It's set up in my room. Would you like to join me?”
“You cooked?” I went over to him. “Are you a good cook?”
