I jerked back and gaped at him. “What?”
“I know, Lora,” he said.
“Know what?”
“Don't lie to me,” Braxen's voice went soft. “That only makes it worse.”
I stared at him, wondering if this was a control thing. Maybe he had given me that restriction knowing I would break it and now he'd “punish” me. And why did that send a thrill down my spine?
But then I saw his expression. Braxen was honestly disappointed in me. The hurt I saw cut me, it lanced deep, and I suddenly wanted to do whatever I had to do to make things right. So ridiculous, but that's how he made me feel.
I shook myself free of the silly guilt and scowled at him. “If I did do something you didn't want me to do last night, it's none of your business, Braxen. I'm a grown woman, and I will do as I please.”
Oh, that wasn't the way to go. Braxen nodded as his stare went even more wounded and then stepped back.
“Brax,” I whispered.
“No,” was all he said.
I straightened my shoulders and strode past him. The truck door closed with a sharp thud, then came the sound of Braxen's footsteps. I went to the gallery and unlocked both doors. We still had half an hour before I opened, so once we wereboth inside, I locked the main door again, but I slid the security door into its pocket. My heels fell crisply on the hardwood as I crossed the gallery, heading for the storeroom. Once there, I veered toward the beverage station and started the coffee. Braxen was a ghost, gliding around me, checking every room, the backdoor, and even going upstairs with my keys to check my apartment before returning to prop himself on one of the worktables.
“Coffee?” I asked.
“No,” Braxen said.
“Brax,” I said with a sigh. “Come on. This is silly.”
He looked away, his jaw hardening.
“Braxen.” I nearly stomped my foot, I was so frustrated.
“Lora, I asked you not to touch yourself because I wanted you to feel what it's been like for me.” He finally met my stare. “Just for one night, I wanted you to want me. Me, not Rune. I wanted you to lie in your bed thinking about me as I have lain awake thinking about you. I wanted you to feel that ache, the longing to be with me. Maybe then you would have looked at me like you look at Rune.”
Holy fuck. How did he turn masturbation into something romantic?
My arms fell to my sides as I stared at him. I didn't know what to say. My chest was tight, my breath stolen, and I couldn't remember how to move. I watched Braxen straighten and step over to me, his massive body moving with such casual strength. His hand lifted and, for a second, I thought I saw it holding a sword. But no, it was open, stroking my cheek.
“Your arousal was so sweet,” Braxen said. “Why did you have to ruin it by coming without me?”
“Brax.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled down, bringing his hand to my heart. “Wanting you all night would only have made me anxious, more intent on having sex with you. If you truly want me to see you as a man and not just someone to lust over, then leaving me unsatisfied is not the way to go. Only after I got some relief was I able to think clearly. And do you know what my first thought was?”
“What?” he whispered.
“Well, honestly, at first, I was embarrassed,” I admitted. “I didn't think it was right to lust after you so strongly when I'm in love with Rune.”
Braxen's jaw tightened.
“But then I remembered the way Rune had smiled when you told him about our kiss. It started to sink in that I could love more than one man and it would be okay. More than okay. It's what the three of you want. When that happened, I thought about you. Without guilt or shame. I thought about the way your presence comforts me, how safe I feel around you. I thought about how your strength goes deeper than your body. How you say so little, hoarding your words so that when you do use them, they're powerful and sometimes profound. Most of all, I thought about your smile.”
“You thought about me?” His breath came out brokenly and his free hand slid around my back.
“Yes. You were the last thought in my head before I fell asleep.”
With a groan, Braxen bent forward and kissed me. Our hands still lay between us, but neither of us tried to move them. They felt right there—a physical reminder that this was more than physical. And it was. Braxen kept surprising me. He wasn't what he appeared to be. When it seemed as if he had abandoned me, he was actually fetching me ice cream. Then I think he's being controlling when he's actually being romantic. Merrick was the one who had tried to control me, not Braxen. Braxen just wanted to be loved.
When our kiss ended, we finally moved our hands from my chest and slid them around each other. Braxen sighed deeply as he folded his big body around mine. There it was again, that comfort. The feeling that nothing could hurt me while I was with him. Braxen made me feel truly immortal.
“Oh, shit!” someone exclaimed. “Uh, sorry, boss.”
