I barely noticed. I was too mortified.
“Uh, I'm really not an uncouth asshole,” I said. “Oh, great Gods, why can't I stop swearing?!”
“Maybe because you keeptalking,” the King said dryly.
Gunrel whimpered.
“I'm better with plants, I swear,” I said. “I swear in a good way, not in an F-word way. I just hate being called a gardener.”
“I believe His Majesty was politely telling you toshut up,” Gunrel hissed at me.
“Oh, fuck! Sorry, Your Majesty.” I bowed again. While I was bent over, I muttered, “Gods damn it, I said fuck again.”
The Dragon King grunted. “What is your name, Mr. Not Gardener? And your preferred title?”
“Uh . . .”My name. What was my name? I had one of those, didn't I?I looked at Gunrel but he was no help. He was just staring at the King. “It's uh, Sebastian. Sebastian Dahl, Your Majesty. I'm a Master of Vegetation. An expert on plants.”
“Doll? As in the things little girls play with?”
Am I just hearing things or did his voice just get deeper?
“Spelled differently, Your Majesty. D-A-H-L,” I said. “And I prefer boys to play with me. Big boys.” I grinned.
Gunrel choked.
The Dragon King's brow lifted.“You are more like a puppy than a doll.”
“A puppy?”
“Yes.” He waved at me. “Jumping about, practically peeing yourself, and looking for something to hump.”
“First, I'm a toy and now I'm a leg-humping dog about to pee myself?”
The Dragon King frowned as if he were trying to work out the intricacies of social graces. “Ah. Yes, that was rude. Forgive me.”
His aloofness, even with that apology, got under my skin. I wanted a reaction from him. So I pushed it even further. “Honestly, Your Majesty, I'm just teasing you. Call me a doll or a puppy, dress me up or collar me, whatever tickles your fancy. I'm at your service.”
King Shaleros's frown smoothed. “That is not the kind of service I'm interested in, Master Dahl. But thank you for the offer. I sense a compliment in it.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I did intend for it to be flattering, not offensive.” I inclined my head.
“You're excused, Sir Gunrel,” the King said.
“Yes, Your Majesty.” Gunrel bowed and left, shooting me a strange look.
“Come with me, Master Dahl,” the King said. He turned around and headed back in the direction he had come from.
I stared after him for a few seconds. What an ass. And I mean his actual ass. I wasn't insulting him. That ass was even better than my friend Galen's, and Galen had an ass that had won him a Dragon King. Fuck, Galen's ass could have won him the world.
Then I realized I wasn't moving, and I jolted into action, running after the King. “Uh, you can call me Sebastian, Your Majesty.”
“Just not gardener?” He slid a look my way.
I cringed. “Sorry. I worked hard for my degree. I'm not just some guy who trims bushes.”
“Oh, but I know. I sent for you because I need more than a few bushes trimmed.”
There was a joke in there but I was too dazed by him to find it. And it was probably inappropriate anyway. I needed to stop teasing him. He was called indifferent for a reason, and as much as I wanted to, I wasn't going to change him. I'd been arrogant to think I could.
