“Pray,” Star whispered. “Of course!” He dropped to his knees in the classic prayer pose, just without the clasped hands. Instead of bending his head though, he lifted it and closed his eyes. “Anu! I know you have our best interests in mind. I know you see a future for us that is superior to the one we are planning for ourselves. But I cannot give in to the urges you've created inside me. I will not. I am not wanted. Not by Seren or her family. I can't bear these feelings and deal with their derision. So, I humbly ask that you remove them from me. Clear my mind and heart so that I can be the king you want me to be and help these people in their endeavors on Earth.”
We waited.
I watched Star, my heart aching for him. Words of comfort crouched in the back of my throat. I did want him. He should know that. He wasn't alone in this. But I couldn't say them. It was bad enough that I had waited to tell my husbands about Danu. I couldn't confess what I'd been going through in front of them now. So, I just waited, hoping Anu would remove whatever magic he had laid upon us—both of us. I waited, and I prayed along with Star. Silently.
Then I waited more.
Star finally opened his eyes and lowered his head. His stare went straight to mine. It shimmered with tears.
“Damn it!” I growled and went to him, handing the scry-phone to Killian. I dropped to my knees and pulled Star into an embrace. “You're not unwanted or alone. There are always two affected in a calling. I'm here with you, Star. We'll get through it together.”
Astaroth, King of Hell, shuddered and crumpled around me. His hands clutched at my back as if he were being pulled underwater, and I was all he had to keep himself afloat. I know that's how he felt because I felt that way too. All this time I'd been beating myself up for my attraction to Star, wondering how I could feel such things when I was so in love with so many men already. When I was pregnant. Then a new mother. Discovering the reason helped, but it didn't stop the feelings. And if Star was getting worse, it was a good bet that things would be the same for me.
I eased back to look at him. “There's relief in knowing I'm not a horrible person, that all those feelings were put there by Anu.”
“Relief,” Star whispered. “The only relief I have is holding you.”
I stared at him.
The room was silent.
“Fuck!” Star roared as he surged to his feet. He lifted his arms and shook them. “Why?!”
“Whoa, go easy, man,” Killian said. “You're sounding like a human. All 'why me' and shit. Pull it together.”
Star rounded on him. “Pull it together?! Pull it together?! Do you see me?” He waved at himself. “Do you think I have ever once raged at the sky as if Anu was hovering above me? Do you? I'm going mad!”
I stood up and pulled Star into another hug. “Okay. I've got you. We'll figure this out.”
“Let's give them a moment,” Sever said.
“Are you as crazy as he is?” Daxon asked. “He'll have her beneath him in three seconds flat.”
“Ugh!” I let go of Star to stand up and glare at the scry-phone even though Daxon's face wasn't in it. “I'm a part of this too! I'm not some mindless thing that has to fall prey to a man's desires. What is this, the fifties?”
Star got to his feet and eased away from me.
“I believe he meant that you are so affected that you wouldn't protest, mo shíorghrá,” Raza said gently. “You did just tell Astaroth that you're in it together.” His jaw clenched before he added, “That you have been feeling guilty for being attracted to him.”
“Yes, all right. I feel it, but not as strongly as he does. I have all of you to help me and . . .” I trailed off and looked at Star. “That's it. You need more women.”
“Seren, it doesn't help.” Star shook his head.
“Not someone who looks like me,” I huffed. “You need women who you can fall in love with for who they are, not who they look like. Something real. Love is the only thing that can ease this.”
“But not conquer,” Raza said. “If the Call of Anu is anything like the Call of Danu, love can only hold it off for so long.”
“He's right,” Tiernan said. “You loved me, but you were still drawn to Raza. The Call is not entirely about love, after all.”
“But this is about love.” I motioned back and forth between me and Star. “Anu doesn't want us together to bring peace to Heaven and Hell. We already have that. He simply thinks we'll be happy together.”
“Danu called us together to unite the kingdoms,” Raza said. “But that is not the original purpose of the Call.”
I made a scoffing sound. “Anu doesn't want me to have a baby with Star and move on. He—”
“Maybe he does,” Star interrupted.
“What?” I gaped at him.
