Fear shot down my spine, followed closely by confusion. What was happening to me? I wasn't afraid of Rian. We hadestablished that. He would never hurt me. So why did the thought of living with him scare me?
I pondered this as the uniformed men rushed ahead of us to open the double doors and bow. Behind us, Rian's guards fell into place and the sleigh was taken away by a stableboy. I straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin. This wasn't my first time in a castle.
No, it wasn't.
Fear. Down my belly.
Oh, fuck.
I passed by beautiful rooms without seeing them, my body going cold despite the warm temperature inside. Rian didn't pause or notice my distress. He was talking about tapestries and paintings. Sculpture. Fucking art! All while I tried to keep my breathing even.
We were going up. He had lifts in his castle—metal compartments moved by magic, one of which carried us to the highest floor in the keep. Great. How convenient. I felt crowded in the little box, hurtling up toward my doom. I mean, no, not doom. I was with Rian and his knights. I was perfectly safe. No one was going to hurt me. I'd never been hurt in any castle. King Dhrostan may have been insensitive and made me feel worthless, but he hadn't done that maliciously. He wasn't a bad man. When he'd done his worst to me it had been under the sway of his dragon. He'd been in the midst of mating Rontor after all. It was miraculous that he hadn't killed me.
Mating.
Another jolt of fear.
What is wrong with me?
A wave of dizziness hit as the lift stopped. The panel opened, and a room was revealed, with a long corridor directly across from us. That corridor stretched before me, lengthening as I watched. Everything went wobbly. But then Rian was stepping out, and I was walking. I don't know how I did it. I certainly didn't give my legs the command. My body just followed Rian's lead. We entered the antechamber, and the world settled around me, ceasing its movement as I took up ambulation.
We were in the corridor. His knights took posts to either side of its archway, facing the lift. I took a shaky breath. There was one door at the end of the corridor, that was all. Rian took me to it. He opened it. He was speaking, but I couldn't hear him. My hearing had gone hollow. I passed a library, or maybe a study. A dining room. A salon of some sort. Then we stood in the King's bedroom.
“Let me help you with your cloak,” Rian said.
He stepped behind me and reached around to unfasten the claps. I stared at the massive bed in front of me. Set on a pedestal of dark wood, it dominated the room. Columns rose at each corner, supporting a crown swagged with emerald velvet. His fucking bed curtains matched my eyes. I tried to concentrate on that. On what was actually before me. But my mind wavered. I saw another room.
Undress and get on the bed,King Dhrostan's voice rose from my memories like a fucking sea monster.
I felt his hands on me again. Spreading me. Casually oiling me as I lay there, feeling nothing. Wanting another man.Pretending he was that man. Then he was inside me, moving deep. Grunting. I turned to see that Dhrostan's eyes were closed. He wanted another man too. The same man I desired, though I didn't know it at the time.
The cloak slid off my shoulders, fur brushing my face. With that light touch in my present, the scene of my past changed. I was with Rontor. But King Dhrostan was there as well.
Suck his cock.King Dhrostan's voice returned.
But Rontor's voice was gentle.It's your choice, little one. You don't have to obey him here.
It had been my choice, and I had chosen one last time with Rontor. What did it matter that I had to watch the King take him too or let the King have me? I got to be with the man I loved. It had made perfect sense at the time. Not so much anymore. Now, I felt like a fool who had asked for more torture.
My belly clenched with shame and regret. I had performed for the King, preparing Rontor to receive him. Getting his entrance wet enough for the King to fuck. Then I'd been made to watch. It had hurt my heart, but also excited me. And didn't that make it worse? When the King commanded me to suck Rontor's shaft again, I'd gone eagerly, my mouth salivating. It had been heaven to attend to him, even if the King was fucking him at the time. Rontor had enjoyed it, and that was all that mattered to me.
Then the King had yanked me off my lover by my hair and pulled my face to his cock. I took him into my mouth because the thought of rebelling had never occurred to the old me. And I let my body be moved about like a doll until I was straddlingRontor's hips. Smoothly, as if they had done it a thousand times, the two of them had maneuvered me until I was on my hands and knees between them, Rontor fucking my channel while the King took my mouth. And they had said sweet things to each other above me while they used me. Almost as if I hadn't been there.
My stomach churned. I was nothing to the King, but now I saw that I hadn't meant much to Rontor either. He had cared for me, but it was nothing compared to what he felt for King Dhrostan.
Fetch the oil, little one, Rontor said, the past becoming the present for me.
Rian's bedchamber faded, replaced by Rontor's sitting room.I was oiling his cock, then the King's, and finally, I fingered myself, preparing my channel for their use.
“That's my good boy.” Rontor slid his finger into me and eased me open. “Are you ready for more?”
“Yes, Master,” I said.
I watched Rontor kiss Dhrostan, then he eased back and looked at the King, waiting.
Dhrostan nodded.
With the King's approval, Rontor settled behind me, and, holding Dhrostan's hot stare, mounted me. As my lover moved slowly in and out of me, loosening me with his girth, the King moved up behind him. I looked over my shoulder to see the King's big hands sliding over Rontor's silvery chest, plucking at his nipples. The King's stare lowered to watch Rontor slide inand out of me, and Rontor pulled my ass cheeks apart to give them both a better view.
