“What?” Xae stopped walking.
We had left the main stairs and were heading down the corridor to the spiraling staircase that led to our floor of the keep. Thankfully, the passage was empty.
I stopped and turned to face him. “They heard about me, and they were eager to get here. So they stole some star fruit and ate it before they were ready.”
“Holy fuck,” Xae whispered. “They all died?”
“Every last one.” My mind flashed back to Jath's face, and in my memory, I noticed more. I saw the little twitches. The clenching of his fists. He'd been nice to me, but he did it for himself. To get past his anger. At me. “He says he doesn't blame me, but I think he was just being kind.”
“It's not your fault, Ember.” Xae cupped my face.
I put my hands over his and eased them down. “I know that. I don't blame myself. There is nothing I could have done differently to save those men. I am only responsible for my actions, not those of others.”
“So why do I see guilt in your eyes?”
“It's not guilt.” I grimaced. “All right, maybe a little guilt. But I know it's unreasonable. Mainly, I . . . I guess I don't like the thought of Jathalion hating me.”
“He doesn't hate you.”
“I think he does.” I shook my head as I replayed our interaction, seeing things in a completely different way. “Fuck, what a good man. To be so kind to me, to listen to all of my crap and offer me advice. Me, the man he blames for the deaths of his trainees. I wouldn't have been able to stand it. At the very least, I would have walked away. But he sat there, telling me to go easy on you. To—”
“To go easy on me for what?” Xae growled. “What the fuck did you tell him?”
I winced. “I was upset. I thought we were commiserating.”
“What did you tell him, Ember?!”
“I told him about the mission we just returned from. How you wouldn't admit you were in trouble.”
Xae's voice dropped into a deadly tone. “I wasn't in trouble.”
“Fine! You weren't in trouble.” I tossed up my hands. “But I was worried about you. And Jath told me that I had hobbled you.”
His bunched shoulders, all prepared for battle, dropped. “He told you what?”
“That I may have empowered you and Rath, but I've also hindered you. I've put limitations on the power.”
“Ember, no,” Xae said gently, his hand going to my arm.
“Yes, Xae. He's right, and I'm sorry if you feel tethered to me, as if you can't run free and fight as you wish. I'm sorry you have to take me with you on missions. But I just want to help. I want to fight beside you, not off somewhere on my own.”
“I want that too.” He pulled me into an embrace. “I'm sorry I was gruff with you. I did feel a little . . . constricted. But if you're out on a mission, I want to be beside you. I want to know you're safe. I want to be able to protect you if necessary.”
“I feel the same about you. So, can we fight together?”
“Yes, we can fight together.” Xae bent his head.
I met him halfway, pressing my lips to his, then opening them to welcome him inside. Xae's kiss was tender. I could feel the apology in it, and under that, his love. Jath's unspoken rejection vanished under my lover's skilled hands and teasing tongue. My feelings of guilt and sorrow for Jath's loss burned away. Then the kiss shifted, and Xae backed me against a wall, his mouth leaving mine to travel to my neck. I gasped as he bit me. Not hard enough to draw blood, just to hold me in place as he pumped his hips against me, even though I was still in armor.
“Xae,” I whispered. “Not here.”
He released me to say, “Yes, here.”
“Xae!”
Xaedren growled and unbuckled my belt. My sword and thigh plates fell in a clatter. As they did, Xae went for my pants. My stare shot up and down the corridor, but it was late in the day, and most of the Wraith Lords were downstairs. Then my pants were around my knees, and Xae's big hand was working my cock.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered. “All right. I give in.”
