“You know how he was off training recruits in Kazenpar?” Xae lifted his chin at Rath.
“Yes. And?”
“He lost an entire group of trainees,” I took over. “They were eager to finish their training so they could get here and meet me before I was . . . completely taken, I suppose. So they stole some star fruit and ate it before they were ready.”
Rath's stern look crumpled. “What? Are you saying they all died?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, fuck. Poor Jathalion.” Rath looked down into his glass. “He must be shattered.”
“He is, but he's trying to get through it. Despite my connection to their deaths, he was nice to me.”
“Your connection?” Rath frowned. “How are you connected?”
“They died because they wanted a chance with me, Rath.”
“Ember, this is not your fault.”
“I know that, but for a man who just lost people he was close to, men who were probably like family to him, I'm a good target for his anger.”
“Are you saying he blames you?”
“He said he doesn't, that it would be unfair. But I think he does. Jath knows I'm not to blame. He knows it in his head. But sorrow lives in the heart, and that organ can be unreasonable. I didn't even notice it while we were talking, but now, looking back, I see the signs. It was torture for him to sit there with me.”
“Ember,” Rath said softly as he took my hand. “He will get over it.”
“I'd prefer he not,” Xae growled.
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for bringing me back to my point.”
“What fucking point?”
“That you two are just as unprepared and unwilling for me to take another lover as I am.” I looked back and forth between them. “Admit it. You don't want me with anyone else.”
Rath sighed. “It will be hard for us until the magic binds us to your next choice. But we will deal with our feelings, Ember. We have to. The fate of—”
“Yeah, yeah, the fate of the world rests on my dick.”
“On your ass,” Xae corrected with a smirk.
Rath glared at Xae before saying, “It rests upon your heart, Ember. It's your love that empowers us and binds us together. Yes, it upsets us to think of you loving someone else, but we also know that once you bind us in your love, those feelings will fade. So, please, forgive us if we are gruff with you when we see or hear about your affection for . . .” Rath trailed off, his throat going tight.
“Rath!” I gripped his hand tighter. “Damn it! Don't you see? This is why I'm not ready. I've just gotten you two. We're finally happy. I can't put us through that again.”
Xae made some rumbling sounds, then said, “You must.” He shook his head. “Fuck! I'm sorry, Ember. I know I should have supported your attraction to him, maybe just walked away when I saw you together. But the wolf inside me took over. He thinks of you as his mate. And wolves mate for life.”
“Xae.” I took his hand too, forming a bridge between the men.
A memory rose, one of them fighting in the training yard. Over me. Xae and Rath had hated each other because one had me and the other wanted me. But we overcame that, and now, they were as close as brothers. Well, closer than that. Almost lovers. As close to it as two tops could get. Their hatred had turned into respect and, I hoped, a type of love. But the path to this point had been vicious and coated in blood.
“I love that your wolf has chosen me too.” I leaned over to kiss Xae. “I'm happy like this. I don't want anyone else.”
“But you will,” Xae said. “You will, and we will accept it.”
“What happens when the war is over?” I whispered as I released both of their hands.
“What do you mean?” Rath asked.
