Cyn was right. Who the fuck cared if we were worthy? Being deserving had never bothered me before. I deserved everything I could get. And Cyn was definitely gotten.
Chapter Thirty
I woke up deliciously warm. Sighing, I rolled onto my side and found Cyn asleep next to me. Seeing him there every morning would never get old. I smiled at my mate, then carefully slipped out of bed so I wouldn't wake him. After getting dressed, I went to the bathroom and stared out the little window at the garden as I peed. After I washed up, I went downstairs to start some breakfast.
As I was cooking in a kitchen far superior to any I'd ever been in, much less cooked in, a surreal sensation overcame me. I felt as if I were living someone else's life and at any moment, I could be whizzed back into mine. But that feeling was false. I was there, mated to the Dragon King, taking a break from the world in his magical sanctuary encased in glass.
Halfway through frying the pancakes (it was the easiest recipe I knew), the reality we had escaped came crashing down. Nothing happened. No one came rushing into the house to destroy our peace. I did it to myself. Sometimes, I just think too much. This time, that thinking terrified me.
I'd never had much. Anything valuable I stole, I turned around and sold or handed over to whoever hired me. I made enough to live fairly comfortably by Forgotten standards, and I'd been happy with my life. Or at least, content. But now, I had experienced true happiness. Not just luxury and ease, but joy. The elation of having someone to love who you could depend on. I would never doubt Cyn's love. I'd never doubt him.
But having all of that meant that I could lose it.
Before we'd even kissed, my mate had been in danger. I kept saving his life. Well, this last time, he had saved mine. But the danger was the point. Cyn was in danger and now that I was his mate, I was too. I wasn't worried so much about myself. Life for me had always been on the edge. But I couldn't lose Cyn.
“Fuck,” I snarled as I tossed a burnt pancake in the trash. Baking away from the stove, I tried to calm my breathing before it got out of hand. Images were bombarding my mind—pictures of Cyn dead in all the ways he could be killed. It's difficult to kill a Dragon. They were the toughest of the immortal races. But it could be done. Poison was an excellent choice, but so was beheading. Then there was hacking him to bits. Drowning him . . . wait, no, Dragons have Water Magic now. All right, that one possibility was nixed. But there were still others, and this adversary had proven to be determined and resourceful. They weren't going to stop until either they or Cyn were dead.
And it was looking more and more as if it would be Cyn.
Hyperventilating, I stumbled over to a chair, fell onto it, and leaned forward on my knees. I couldn't lose him. If I lost him now, I'd never recover. Of course, there was a good possibility I'd die with him. That was oddly reassuring. Then it was frightening because it was reassuring. How did I fall so deeply in love with him so fast? So deeply that death was preferable to living without him.
I wasn't that person. Caring about someone to the point of putting myself second? No. My parents raised me to take care of myself first. I was number one. Because no one else would see me. But that turned out to be false. Cyn put me first. He put my wellbeing before the entire kingdom's. That wouldn't be so impressive if he wasn't the King. But that was how Dragons were with their mates. Mates came before all else. Even themselves.
“Fuck,” I said again.
It was romantic, but I didn't want Cyn putting me before himself. I wanted him to survive, and he wouldn't if it came down to a choice between him or me. I knew it in my bones: Cyn would die to save me. Just as I would for him. I guess it wasn't fair to expect him to act differently than me. Even so, it scared the fuck out of me.
“Ru?” Cyn’s precious, sexy, deep voice broke into my thoughts.
I looked up, unable to guard my expression in time.
“What happened?” He hurried over to me and knelt beside my chair. With his hand on my shoulder, he stared into my eyes. “Are you hurt?”
“I'm scared,” I whispered. “I've never been so fucking scared.”
“You don't have to be afraid when you're with me.” Cyn's hand went up my neck and around to the back, then he pulled my head to his, bringing our foreheads together. “I will protect you.”
I made a snort and pulled away. “You're the one who needs protection.You arewhy I'm scared.”
Cyn grimaced and straightened. “Just because you've saved my life, it doesn't mean I can't protect myself. Don't forget, I was the one who got us out of the Forgotten without hurting anyone.”
“I know all that.” I stood and took his hand. “But our enemy is cunning. They got to my friends, Cyn. People who are wary by nature. People who are used to dealing with criminals. Somehow, they got to a bunch of Raltven. And if they can get to them . . . fuck, they got to me. I'm not even safe for you to be around.”
“Yes, you are. Because I'm not letting you out of my sight until this is over,” Cyn growled. “There is no enemy so great that they can take you from me. I swear to you, Ru; I will protect both of us. And I will end this.”
His words helped. A little. I acted as if they helped a lot. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, then nodded. “All right.”
Cyn smiled and pulled me into a hug. “I didn't gain the throne by being weak, Mate. I defeated over a hundred Dragons.”
“In combat,” I said to his chest. “This is different.”
“Yes, this time, my enemy is sneaky and smart.” He leaned back to grin at me. “But so is my mate. The Gods have given you to me just when I need you most.”
Well, at least now my fear had warm, gooey feelings to keep it company.
Ducking my head to hide my blush, I slid out of his arms. “I'll do my best, but all my plans have failed.” I went back to the stove and resumed my pancake cooking.
“You haven't failed.” Cyn came up behind me and held me as I cooked. “Your plans have kept me alive. We just have to keep. That's why this place is necessary. Here, we can take our time to think. We don't have to worry or rush.”
