I looked up into his hood.
“I like that I'm your first proper relationship.”
I could have said something sweet, but I had a strange desire to be brutally honest with him. Cyn was in my world now, and I didn't want to hide anything from him. He would see all my truths, especially when he met my clan. So, I wasn't sweet.
“You like it?” I lifted a sardonic brow at him. “You like knowing that I fuck men whenever I feel like it? That I don't waste energy on maintaining a constant lover? That I've never seen the point of getting to know the person I let inside me?”
“Whoa.” Cyn grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. “Have I upset you?”
“No.” I sighed and turned to face him. “I'm just not the hero you've made me out to be. I want you to know who I really am. The Ru that fucks men against alley walls and stumbles home drunk. A criminal who steals anything of worth he can get his hands on. The man who doesn't know how to be in a relationship because he's never had one before. Never even wanted one.”
“I do know who you really are,” Cyn said gently. “You enjoy pleasure as much as I do and take it where you find it. There's nothing wrong with that. You are a criminal, yes, but you still answered the call of your king. You used your talents to save my life twice while endangering your own.” He brushed his hand over my cheek. “You're honorable in your own way, Ru. You're loyal to your people and braver than most Dragons I've known. You don't know how to be in a relationship? Well, neither do I. Has anything I've done made you think the opposite? I do not know what I'm doing. I've had relationships before, yes, but none of them have been like this. I've never jumped into bed with a man, then decided the very next morning that I wanted something more from him. And I don't fucking care. It doesn't matter what or who we've done in our past or that neither of us knows what we're doing. All that matters is how we feel. We'll figure the rest out together.”
My breath lodged in my throat, and my heart hammered in my chest. I stared at him—the man I had determined to have. I'd been so cocky about seducing him. So cocky with my expectations. But that cockiness hid insecurities. I had barreled ahead with Cyn, telling myself that he would be mine. That I would fight for him. And I meant every word. But deep down, I had doubts. Under my bravado, I cringed, feeling unworthy. He was the Dragon King, and I was a thief who broke his laws. But I wanted him. Craved him. Cyn had caught my eye like a sparkling jewel, but not with his handsome face. It was the man beneath who I adored. And that made my craving even more intense. So intense that I couldn't even glance at my doubts. If I had, I wouldn't have reached so high.
But now, I was in the King's arms. As high as I could get. And he wanted me there. He saw who I was and still wanted me. That changed everything. The fantasy was becoming real. His heart wasn't something I had to steal anymore. It was right there, within my reach. I could have him. As long as I didn't fuck this up. And that terrified me. It gave my doubts the strength they needed to surface. My confidence trembled. I had brushed aside the Dragon Mate thing. It was too scary to face, so I tried to belittle it. I swore to fight for him if his mate appeared. Now, that fight was looking like more of a possibility. Unless I was his mate.
“Ru?” Cyn nuzzled my forehead. “Your past doesn't bother me. It's made you who you are. And I'm more interested in your future anyway.”
My future. Holy fuck, he was thinking of the future too.
All right, enough of this weakling shit. I was Ru'din of the Midnight Clan, the best thief in the Forgotten. Just like the King, when I saw something I wanted, I took it. I had taken him and now I had to find a way to keep him.
“I want that,” I blurted. “I want a future with you.”
Cyn grinned. “Good.”
“But how can we—”
He cut my words off with his lips, pulling my doubts into himself and twisting them with his tongue until my confidence returned. I wasn't alone in this fight. The Dragon King was with me. He wanted this as badly as I did. I clung to him, his body warming mine as snow fell softly around us. Suddenly, the muddy streets of the Forgotten weren't so bleak, and the winter wasn't so harsh. I could have stood in the snow with him all day.
But I didn't. We had shit to do.
I eased back and stared up at Cynric. “We're really doing this?”
“We are,” he said firmly.
I didn't bring up the mating thing. I didn't know too much about it, and I didn't want to. If it happened, I would be with Cyn forever. No one would tear us apart. If it didn't, someone would try to come between us. They would try, and they would fail. Mate or not, Cynric was mine.
Chapter Sixteen
You'd think heavy snowfall would hinder an open-air market. But the bazaar of the Forgotten wasn't just any open-air market. People relied on the goods for sale here, and sellers relied on customers to buy those precious items, many of which were gained by illegal means. You could find anything in the bazaar. Food, clothing, jewelry, magical items, and even furniture.
During winter, tarps and tents protected the stalls while hot crystal canisters warmed them. Snow melted atop the warm fabric before it could gather and dripped down the sides. This made for muddy conditions around the stalls, but it was worth it to shop without freezing your balls off.
When the first food stall came into sight, the scent of meat pies wafted over to us, and I realized that even with a pouch full of gold, I couldn't buy anything. First off, it's a bad idea to whip out gold in the Forgotten, no matter who you were. Well, maybe Grik and Hass would be safe. No one messed with Raltven assassins, especially not those two.
“Shit. Grik and Hass,” I murmured to myself. If I was trying to kill a king and had failed twice, I'd stop using normal people for the job and go after a professional.
“What's that?” Cyn asked.
“Nothing, just . . . do you have any copper? I don't think I have enough coins to buy everything we need, and no one will have change for gold.”
“Ah. Yes, I do.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a large leather pouch. “Here. These are my coppers.”
“You keep your coins separated?”
“Doesn't everyone?”
